It’s Bisexuality Visibility week!
Seeing as I spend my life trying to create more sexually fluid, progressive adult cinema, it would be rude not to give our bisexual friends out there a shout out! And what better way to celebrate than to take a little time to debunk some of the ridiculous myths that still surround bisexuality.
It is still pretty difficult to be taken seriously as a bisexual. There are so many ways of describing your sexual preferences, and many people choose not to label themselves at all. But whether you would argue that you fall in love with people rather than genders, or if you are proudly out and Bi, we can all agree that sexually fluid erotica is some of the sexiest out there!
Women who are bi arguably suffer a different kind of erasure of bisexual credibility than men: although Halsey might have something to say about that. While women’s bisexuality is regularly reduced to either curiosity, a phase or a rebellious action (see everything ever said about Kristen Stewart and how hated she is), when men claim bisexuality it is even less believed. Men are either gay or straight, according to everyone except the men who aren’t gay or straight.
Plus, women are pretty much expected to want to at least kiss other women. And more than that, in a lot of porn lesbianism and bisexuality is essentially used to turn men on, rather than being about two women getting pleasure from each other. Many are quick to jump to the ever problematic Kinsey Scale, that places you on a number between 1-6 and defines how much gay you’ve got in you. I’d prefer to think of sexuality as an ever evolving, ever flowing and changing thing.
So here are some of the biggest myths out there, and why they are utter nonsense:
- 1. Bisexual people are sluts. 🍆🍑🌽🍌
- Aside from being an avid supporter of #slutpride, I don’t believe being attracted to a person regardless of their genitalia equates to being a sex crazed nympho. Or, as The Alternet so eloquently puts it; “Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that I would probably f*ck a jar of Nutella if it looked at me the right way, but just because bisexuals technically have more options for sexual partners doesn’t mean they are more promiscuous.”
- 2. Bisexual women only do it to tease/turn on straight men.
- Get your head out your ass. The world does not revolve around your penis.
- 3. Bisexual people are greedy. 🍰
- Well, let’s be honest, if the world was an all you can eat buffet and your options were double that of a non-bisexual, you’d be having your cake and eating it too. But wait, don’t we all do that?
- 4. Bisexuality is a phase.
- Yeah, once I’ve used up all my gay I’ll just be straight again.
- 5. Bisexuality doesn’t exist.
- Sounds like a Victorian concept doesn’t it? Just deciding you are one of two binaries and that nothing else can exist in between. And yet, even The New York Times casts suspicion over the legitimacy of bisexuality. Shouldn’t we allow people to define themselves however they want?
- 6. Bisexual women all want to have a threesome with straight guys and their girlfriends.
- It’s totally natural to enjoy the idea of two women gobbling your penis up – but to assume that all bisexual women are into this idea is ludicrous. Just because you’re into both genders, doesn’t mean you want them both at once. That’s not to say a threesome isn’t fun or anything…
So let’s take the rest of this weekend to celebrate bisexuality. There aren’t two camps that you have to choose between, or two sides you have to take. Bisexuality and gender fluidity are just as valid identifications as gay and straight. Happy Bi Week everyone!
And if all this talk of sex has you a little heated up… here is a list of the films I’ve made featuring bisexual scenes and/or performers. I also directed my first film about pansexuality, which I think relates nicely to celebrating love of all and any gender. Enjoy!
You can also see all of our films and XConfessions that are tagged with #bisexual here!