As you know, my mission in life is to spread the joy of sex-positivity! I have been working over the years to change porn, improve sex education and change unhealthy attitudes towards sex. Many of us are still under-represented and we find ourselves wondering how we can recognize and own our sexuality… well, it’s time to reclaim it!
Societal pressures lead us to slut-shame ourselves and each other for having regular, casual sex and, on the other hand, make us feel prudish for only wanting sex within a relationship and not engaging in broad ideas of “female sexual liberation”. But being a sex-positive feminist is simply about understanding and acknowledging your own needs, desires and fantasies and doing the things you want and consent to 100%!
So, grab your backpack and get ready to load up: here’s my guide to how to achieve your sexual liberation and truly become your own version of a sex-positive feminist!
Learn about your lust!
It’s often difficult, especially in an age of varying forms of feminist activism, role models and pressures, to decide what “kind of feminist” you want to be. Your own needs or desires may seem to conflict with what you believe “good feminism” to be. But have no fear! There is no wrong answer, as long as it includes equality and consent! My first piece of advice is to do your homework and learn about what makes you happy! What turns you on and what doesn’t?
Good Porn: a Woman’s Guide is a comprehensive look at the topic – what it is, what types are available, and why men and women enjoy different styles. I examine the films, the industry and the phenomenon, making adult cinema more accessible to women. You can be a feminist and still like porn! In fact, in my book I talk about the benefits of adult cinema in heightening women’s sexual appetites and why it’s important to have women behind the camera too!
Wear it with pride!
It’s crazy that women are still shamed for being openly sexual. I mean, isn’t that the biggest double standard you’ve ever heard!? If you want to reclaim your sexuality, wear it for everyone to see! In fact, with one of my tote bags, you can wear it on your shoulder!
From MONOGAMY IS OVERRATED to I WISH I WAS A LESBIAN, there is sure to be a provocative statement that will suit you!
Self-love, all the time
Self-appreciation goes a long way, and I believe that really good sexual pleasure can come from getting to know yourself as well as possible! It’s important to broaden your horizons, watch lots of good, ethical adult cinema in order to discover what you like and dislike. And of course, masturbate! Everywhere and all the time! And how better to free yourself than with a discreetly sized vibrator to keep in your tote bag for self-love on the go?
I recommend the incredibly cool RO- IF YOU LOVE ME by Rocks-off or the Metallic Wand Vibe by Marc Dorcel. Both small enough to carry around and stylish enough that you won’t be embarrassed about it making a public appearance!
Sex positive surroundings
For those into BDSM, it can be very important to have the right environment and tools for really creating pleasure! This jailhouse bed from director, producer and designer Kristyan Geyr, will have you feeling perfectly at home! The prison-look, steel-framed bed comes equipped with a set of iconic Smith & Wesson handcuffs and is guaranteed to withstand even the strongest of punishments! And if you’re wondering if a sex-positive feminist needs to be dominant, check out my XConfession Feminist and Submissive.
Don’t forget that positivity comes from within, so spoil yourself a little with some of the items on my list of top gifts to buy yourself for Valentine’s Day! Including these overly indulgent rose petals. Because you can!
Watch sex positive adult cinema!
It’s easy to feel pressured in a world where our sexual education has been dictated by the mainstream porn industry and unrealistic ideas about gender roles and beauty norms! So, it’s time to do the opposite. In XConfessions you can find a huge variety of ethical, feminist adult film including A Feminist Man, inspired by a confession from a student, who is turned on by nothing more than her highly educated and self-proclaimed, feminist gender studies professor!
Sex positive feminists! Head to Lust Store for all these items and more!