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What inclusive porn has to say about the exclusive beauty industry

Since Pamela Anderson managed to carve out that startling moral code saying that porn is for losers, people have been reaching out to me to ask me what I think.

Unlike others, I won’t start criticizing Pamela for what would be a “hypocritical” statement after her many years working as a Playmate. I have no reason to think that her past career should define how she thinks right now – people change, opinions change, that’s life. And more than that: Pamela Anderson had every right to do what she wanted with her professional life – just like every woman should. That doesn’t make her unqualified to express any opinions.

That said, I’d rather focus my thoughts on the actual problem. Does porn ruin lives? If it wasn’t because of porn, would every man on Earth be happy, committed fathers and husbands? Is porn the ultimate villain of today’s society?

In her statement, Pamela says: porn is for losers: dear Pamela, this sentence would only prove how far you are from the adult industry’s progression and how disconnected you are from today’s sexual discourse. First, you should know that those boring, heteronormative, sad and chauvinist films that you are probably referring to are not the only type of explicit content being produced nowadays. The work of new wave directors is actually a huge help in fighting the damaging concepts that you are pointing out-especially when it comes to helping build a solid foundation to a healthier, smarter, more ethical and more intelligent way of living sexuality.

As Maria Riot said, porn is fiction. It is not real, and definitely not the same as sex.
Does it give people false expectancies? Yes, but so does the innocent romantic comedies from Hollywood! The problem isn’t in porn, but in the lack of efficient sex education. As Cindy Gallop stated, “the issue is the complete absence in our society of an open, healthy, honest conversation around sex in the real world”.

 

I’ll let my email inbox speak for me

As hundreds of fans tell me in private thank you notes, intelligent adult films can be extremely helpful in the acceptance of one’s sexuality and empowerment. Women that watch my films write to me constantly explaining how they feel happier, more confident and closer to their partners after breaking the box of shame that op-eds like yours establish in their intellects.

 

Dear Erika,

I wanted to personally reach out to you and say thank you. Thank you for the positive work you have put forth and made accessible to me and millions of others. I live in Portland, OR, USA, a very sex positive city with a rich film culture, yet I had never come across porn I really enjoyed. Why? Because I didn’t realize there were films out there that wouldn’t make me feel objectified, disgusted or conditioned. Until recently, the only porn DVD I had seen had the same content as free videos online so I never thought twice about spending money on something like that. When I bought your DVD at She Bop last week, I took it home, anxious for my roommates to leave our apartment. When I finally had the place to myself I pressed play and was blown away by the cinematography. It was the first film I’d seen where I didn’t feel the urgency to shut it off immediately after coming or had a lingering feeling of guilt and disgust. I actually finished watching the film and appreciated the sincerity the cast, crew and you delivered. Thank you again! You’ve inspired me!
Warmest Regards,
Vivian 

 

 1aaoc3

 

How can insisting that women are simply bodies, existing solely to please men in every inch of their big-boobs-smooth-butt-blonde-hair, be innocent? How can all this be still seen as “ok” for society, while self-pleasure, sex-education and diversity are still hiding under our sheets as if they were forbidden – or damaging?

 

Playboy isn’t that innocent

Her argument had been extensively discussed in many articles and in Twitter, so I won’t be repeating concepts. Still, I’d like to express my concerns with what I think is the most damaging thing in all this mess: the objectification of women. How can someone criticize the effects of porn on men while leaving aside the effects of the whole mainstream entertainment industry on women and men? Before offering stimulation for people to have a pleasuring time by themselves (porn), there is the problem of imposing the standards for this stimulation. Is Playboy that “titillatingly innocent-sensual” as Pamela said it is? How can setting the standards of who is beautiful and who isn’t be “innocent”? How can affirming, edition after edition, that white rich men could have any girl they want be innocent? How can insisting that women are simply bodies, existing solely to please men in every inch of their big-boobs-smooth-butt-blonde-hair, be innocent? How can all this be still seen as “ok” for society, while self-pleasure, sex-education and diversity are still hiding under our sheets as if they were forbidden – or damaging?

Hopefully the debate that their op-ed started will continue for weeks to come. And hopefully with more well thought-out, progressive and diverse arguments, we can finally start a real discussion about sex-ed and other sex-related societal issues.

 

What about you? Do you agree? Leave your comments below!

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