The Ultimate Blowjob Guide: Time to Step-Up Our Oral Sex Game

A guide for guys, girls, theys and members of all genders and sexualities for blowing someone good.

I’d love to do some guides on transgender oral sex – so if you can leave me links, articles and other examples in the comments below, that’d be beautiful! My next guide will be on cunnilingus, so if you have a vagina, don’t feel sad… you’re next.

And, head to XConfessions to see these featured film stills come to life in my porn for women!

Build-up

If you get them hard and gagging for it beforehand, it’ll be a lot easier for them to enjoy it. Tell them what you’re going to do, ask them, “do you want me to…”, hold their hands above their head and slowly kiss their neck and ears. Briefly kiss their nipples (they’re not very sensitive for most men) and then decide how much teasing you want to do. Starting by kissing and sucking their feet and going all the way up their legs until you reach the pay-load is always popular – but if they’re shy they might worry about smelly feet, so just kissing around their pelvic bones and their thighs is good too.

Breath

Before touching them with your hands, do one long lick along their length, and exhale over them. Breath is hot and is a nice way to tease. If you have breasts, brushing your nipple along them in the same motion is good too.

Spit

You want it as wet as possible. This varies from cock to cock – some are more sensitive than others. But especially if you use your hands, you want it nice and wet because a dry hand-job is painful af. There is never too much spit (I mean, don’t gurgle and gob on it) and with a bit of practice you can spit from slightly above it and he can watch it drip onto his cock. Gorgeous.

Ask what they want

I mean, you don’t have to pre-empt a blowjob with chit-chat over a cup of cocoa (unless you both want to, which is actually super sexy and informative) but during the experience, especially at the beginning, try and find out what they like. Do they want you to grip harder or softer? Slow teasing or right for the gullet? Which part is more sensitive, here… or here? Vocal communication also helps stop the old “grab the back of the head and shove it down their throat” technique.

The shaft is for your hands, the head is for your tongue and mouth

This is a general rule for beginners or the less confident. The head of the penis is where all the sensitivity is – especially in the area under the rim, and where the foreskin (if they have it) connects to the head. Once you’re more confident, or nearer the end of the experience, you can take more into your mouth, but if you’re not ready yet, or they’re particularly big, putting the whole of the head in your mouth and then griping tightly on their shaft and moving your hand up and down should get the “job” done.

Hand and head combo-motion 2.0

Once you’re confident at the above stage, you can start moving your mouth further down and taking more in. Try keeping to the same rhythm as your hand and in the same direction otherwise you’ll get confused. Remember, lips over teeth. Also experiment here and see what makes him moan – you can use a slight twisting motion with your wrist, or just use two fingers or press the palm of your hand inwards on his shaft. And your mouth and tongue can explore – kind of like you’re making out with it, if you were doing the “washing machine” and were really bad at making out.

Deepthroating… a word to the wise.

Don’t do it when you’re drunk. Don’t do it for the first time with someone you don’t know. Don’t let them grab you by the head and force it all the way back. Firstly because, ew I’m not your fuck-machine, and secondly because this will result in him hitting your gag reflex and you vomiting all over him. It happens more often than you’d think.

Don’t worry if they go soft

It’s not a reflection on you. It happens. Maybe they’re tired, they’re nervous, they’re insecure. If they give you even a moment’s bullshit about it, they’re an asshole. If it happens, pause and ask “is it my turn?” or “shall we take a break? or do you want me to do something differently?” Maybe they just take a little longer to get hard!

Make noises

God knows why – maybe it’s the patriarchy, maybe it’s innate “animal instinct” or whatever fake pseudo science bullshit, or maybe it’s just because they like feeling sexy (I think it’s this one), but making noises always gets a guy harder and more than that, if you start gagging they lose their mind over how they’re so big that they make you gag.

No Vampires

No teeth. Even if you think it might feel nice, teasing, it ruins the whole experience when you remind them that you could realistically chomp down at any second and cause serious pain. Unless that’s what they’re into – but ask first, it’s only polite.

It’s not really a “blow” job.

“Sucking him off” is a far more accurate description. You know when you’re sucking on an ice lolly and your cheeks go all concave? Doing that feels good. Real good. If they have foreskin, roll it down and then put the whole of the head in your mouth, with your lips closing under the rim, and then suck. You can move your hands at the same time too.

Look ’em in the eyes

It’s hot, you’re hot, you look hot with their cock in your mouth even if you don’t think so, seeing them watching you is hot, seeing their eyes rolls back and the pleasure all over their face is hotter and will make you more confident. If they’re staring at you and showing no enjoyment, get up, thank them for their time and spend the next few weeks watching the news for stories of a serial killer on the run.

Balls-deep

If you’ve got jaw-ache, or you’re nervous, the balls are an amazing way to take a break. Never forget they’re there, and that they enjoy being involved too. Putting one or both in your mouth while rubbing their shaft feels good, and teasing them before you start.

Coaxing

Use a firmer grip as you move your hand up the shaft, like trying to squeeze the last of the paint out of a tube.

To swallow or not to swallow?

This is totally up to you. Firstly, they should ask you if they can come in your mouth – or you can tell them before you get started whether you’re into it or not. Secondly, if you want to swallow, go right ahead, it’s not dirty, it’s (normally… unless they’re a heavy smoker/unclean) delicious. Thirdly, if you want to spit, that’s cool too. Try not to make “ew gross” faces though because c’mon, if someone gave you oral sex and then reacted with disgust, you’d feel pretty shitty right?

Bask in the glow of your achievement

But remember, after a man ejaculates his body tells him to go to sleep. So if he is super quiet afterwards and gets all sleepy, don’t worry, you didn’t bore him, he just had a really good time. He’ll show you later how good it was by reciprocation. And if he doesn’t, he’s an asshole and you should leave him immediately.

Helpful? I have several other voices in the industry dying to give you their tips and tricks! Head on over to Erotic Films for:

Pierre Roshan’s Guide The Ultimate Blowjob

and Drik Liessenfeld’s Prostate Massage: G-Spot for Men

Amarna Miller directs herself in a POV blowjob scene in one of three films on 3 by Amarna

and I’ve directed A Blowjob is Always a Great Last Minute Gift Idea and Slo Blo Mo Job

With thanks to: Vice, Lelo, etc for doing all the research for me.