💖 Since the release of my XConfession Feminist and Submissive, I’ve had so much feedback from fans and followers 💖
Our round table discussion caused a lot of thoughtful debate about how feminism works alongside BDSM practice! So I figured, why not ask another expert?
Amarna Miller is an incredibly talented actress from Madrid, a writer, traveler, feminist and activist. One of the most prolific faces in adult cinema and, more importantly, ethical adult cinema. Yesterday she even released a video on her youtube channel about her work in Ethical Porn, and with me – plus it includes a free giveaway!
I was desperate to chat to her about ethical porn, as well as feminism and submission!
You can read our interview below 👇
Hi Amarna! You were in my first BDSM film An Appointment with My Master and we’ve worked a lot together. How did you find doing a BDSM scene with me and Mickey?
It was a pleasure to do the first BDSM scene that you directed. Especially because it means that you trust me as a performer and that you take the things you know I like and put them into the actual script, that’s something that I really appreciate.
I love Mickey. He’s one of my favourite performers in the world to shoot with, so I already knew that we were going to have super good chemistry. Both of us are also into BDSM in our personal lives, so it wasn’t like trying something new for the first time on camera. And yeah, it was really sexy!
Was it different to your other experiences?
Yes and no. Yes, because of the way you shoot your movies. It’s very special inside the porn community, so the shoot was very special. I really enjoyed that there was a lot of freedom between Mickey and I to decide what to do on camera. From the beginning you didn’t impose on us what we had to perform. You just gave us certain tools and an environment and a location and a tiny script, but the practices we did on screen were all improvised between Micky and I during the actual shoot. It felt like the kind of BDSM session that you would have in your personal life. Because there isn’t a script during the sex, you do whatever you feel like doing. So it felt very intense.
Can you divulge as to what drew you to BDSM?
I’ve always been a person with a very high libido and I’ve always been interested in expanding the horizons of my sexuality. I started in pornography because I really wanted to try new things and there were certain things that were too complicated to do in a normal scenario, in your private life; while in porn it’s more normative to do them. What drew me to BDSM was the hunger to try new things in bed and explore my sexuality.
You also performed with Parker Marx in one of my films in a more dominant role for Latex Sessions. Do you feel more powerful, or empowered in either situation?
Parker is amazing and that shoot was extremely cool. I really enjoyed being dressed in latex. If I had to choose my top 3 scenes for XConfessions, Latex Sessions would definitely be one of them.
This is a very good question because what we’re putting on the table is “do you feel more empowered as a submissive or a dominant”. From the outside, people who don’t know about BDSM see the role of the submissive as someone who is not empowered at all. If you are submissive, you are letting the dominant do whatever they with you and there’s no power in that situation. And that’s totally false. The submissive is actually the one who decides what’s going to happen during the game. The dominant person has to take care of the sub. The dominant person has to be in control of the situation and has to know exactly they’re doing at every moment. The submissive person can let themselves go, but at the same time, the limitations that they have marked are the ones that must be respected. So I would say both sides are empowered in different areas of sexuality. So to answer your question, I feel empowered in both situations. As a sub and also as a dom. Also, as a submissive you know that you can stop the game at any point, so that’s a way of feeling empowered. You always have a safe word that you can plan before with your master.
I know you identify as a feminist (yay!) – do you think women can be feminist and be submissive?
Yes, definitely. This is another myth that we have to start breaking. A lot of people think that BDSM is a pathological issue and that it’s some kind of illness. What I believe is that as long as BDSM is healthy, safe and consensual, it’s just another game that you can play in bed. There’re people who fantasize about teachers and colleagues, and doctors and nurses and there are people who fantasize about power roles. Power roles are constant in our daily lives. From a police officer to the student you’re teaching. They’re all having some power struggle with the people who surround them. So taking those situations and putting them in a sexy scenario is healthy, as long as you know that it’s a game and that you’re playing.
A lot of people think that feminism should control the construction of women’s desire and what I believe is that our desire and the way we enjoy our sexuality has been tightly controlled for hundreds of years. Now, for the first time, we have the right and the possibility to expand our horizons. Men don’t have these tight boxes that constrain their sexuality in the same way. For women, this is incredibly huge compared to men.
Do you think a man can be a feminist and be a dominant? Is there a dichotomy between the two, or is that just a social construct around masculinity and violence? Virginie Despentes once said “all masculinity is linked to violence”.
It’s true that the society we live in is a patriarchy and there are certain roles concerning femininity and masculinity that we have buried deep inside of our subconscious mind. However, our sexuality and the things that we desire are a reflection of the things we experience throughout our lives. If we live in a patriarchal society it makes sense that a lot of our fantasies come from that issue and that our fantasies are patriarchal. And that’s not wrong, as long as we can understand them and understand where they come from. We can be feminist and not all of our fantasies and desires are feminist. As long as we experience them in a responsive way, that’s good. A man can be feminist and can be dominant. Violence should not be attached to the concept of masculinity. If we try to change what we fantasize about we’ll end up with frustration and that’s not good. We have to be free to truly experience what we want to experience.
You work a lot with me, and with ethical, progressive companies such as Four Chambers. Can you tell me a little about why you enjoy working in porn that is more indie and alternative, and consciously pushing against the mainstream?
Well there are two reasons. The first is a selfish reason. I have been in porn for 7 years now and that’s a lot of time, so I’ve shot a lot of mainstream scenes. These scenes are boring in the end. They have the same 5 positions and the same stereotypes of beauty in men and in women, the same plots (which are fine but it gets repetitive). When I shoot for more indie productions it’s very cool and refreshing and I’m performing in something that I feel very proud of.
The not selfish reason is that I really believe that pornography has to change. We need more visionaries behind representations of sexual pleasure on camera. To create those kinds of scenes we need to support them. My way to support them is paying for them and performing for them as an actress. Porn needs to represent sexuality in a variety of ways. More varieties of beauty and people and bodies and ethnicities. To get to that point I try to support the companies that do it. Support the companies that are trying to change the industry from the inside, because that’s my own point of view. As a performer I have the right and I have the responsibility to help.
What do you think of the world post-50 Shades of Grey? Has BDSM entered the mainstream, and is this good or bad?
50 shades of grey is an interesting phenomenon. On one hand, I’ve always been very honest that I think it’s a bad book and I don’t like the way it’s written. I believe that they portray BDSM in an unhealthy, pathological way.
On the other hand, a lot of people who weren’t interested in expanding the horizons of their sexuality started trying new things in bed and that’s something that is utterly positive. We have to understand that 50 Shades of Grey is a book and it’s fictional and it’s not there to teach anybody. In Spain they were saying “porno para mamas” which is “porn for mummies”. I think that’s an interesting way to address it because these women my mum’s age, who had never heard of BDSM before, suddenly discovered this amazing universe of novelties and that’s something nice and positive.
What advice would you give women looking to get into the kink scene?
Good question! I would say don’t become obsessed with the labels that kink scenes put on the table. When we talk about submissive or masochist or sadist people, we are labeling something inside a very tight context. If you’re dominant you can’t like pain and if you’re submissive you cant have a dominant role. Really our sexuality is more of an organic flowing thing, you go with the current, you go with the waves. If you try to enjoy your sexuality in a more organic way, it’s easier to enjoy it in a freer way. When I started being interested in BDSM I didn’t know what to call myself. I liked pain but I was mainly dominant, so I thought I was a bad sub. I didn’t really know the differences between being dominant or submissive or masochist. Over the years this has changed, I’ve discovered that I also have a submissive side and I can also enjoy inflicting pain on others, so I have a tiny bit of sadism. Let’s try to think of ourselves as a complex mix of things that evolve, instead of a very tight rigid label that stays constant forever. It’s just not like that.
💖Want more Amarna?💖
I put together a collection of all her XConfessions shorts here!
But that’s not all! On Lust Cinema (a membership streaming adult cinema platform) and Erotic Films (a pay-per-stream adult cinema platform), both of which I run and curate, we have a selection of films starring Amarna, plus three directed by her, which is all available to download on the Lust Store!
3 by Amarna, which features three short films, two of which star Amarna and all of which are directed by her: one a POV blowjob, one a woman masturbating and one of Amarna and Mickey in a passionate vanilla scene.
Or are you already a member of XConfessions? Or not heard of Amarna (where have you been?!) and want to check out some of our films together? Here is the complete list of all of her XConfessions below:
- Manual del Placer
- Latex Sessions
- Do you find my feet “suckable”?
- An Appointment With My Master
- Sit Down, Shut Up and Watch
- Romance Bullshit
- Before the Guests Arrive
- Sweet But Psycho
* Cover photo and middle two photos courtesy of XConfessions collaborator Maty Chevrière