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The big, the small and everything in between.

Our cover photo for this blog is by one of our XConfessions Artists, Maty Chevriere. Read her interview with me here.
blo job 5
It’s time for another guide Lusties! My Guide to Spanking was super popular, but only appropriate for those wanting to get a bit kinky. So I thought, maybe it’s time to talk to more of my male followers! And one of the biggest anxieties men have (as I discovered on a confession posted today) is about the size of their package. So … let’s talk about size, baby!

Studies suggest
that the only difference between having a large penis and a smaller one is there may be a bit of a confidence boost – but there is no correlation in terms of sexual performance! Plus, according to a 2015 estimate by Esquire, the average penis size is 5.16 inches. So good news for every man out there – no matter it’s shape or size, you have nothing to worry about. Of course, drugs companies don’t want you to believe this- they want to sell penis enlargement pills which don’t work and just result in disappointment. And it’s also easy to forget that very large penises can also struggle to find a vagina they match well with. So I’ve put together a fun list of tips for men with penises above or below the average, as an encouragement but also to help women gain pleasure too! This guide is mainly for hetero couples, but if you want tips for gay men or different gendered persons, let me know in the comments below and I’ll do my research! Lots of these positions would have a similar effect with anal sex, but it’s up to you whether you want to try that. The one thing I would say about anal is – lots of lube, start off slow, and it’s not for everyone!
Tips and positions for smaller than average
1. Friction is good, but so is grinding.
If your scenario includes a thinner penis, the woman can try squeezing her pelvic floor muscles. Or you can try positions where her legs are closed. Grinding is also good for her pleasure if you can manage to rub her clitoris at the same time as grinding inside of her. Good positions for this are cowgirl – where you can still touch her clit with your hands – and her straddling you while you sit up. Although if said penis is on the shorter side, this position can cause you to slip out quite often.
2. Clitoral stimulation makes you tighter.
A good way for her to feel really tight and enjoy the sensation of a smaller cock is for her to touch herself while you’re having sex. Being close to orgasm or having a prolonged multiple-orgasm makes her clench, and increases the pleasure ten-fold!
“Romance Bullshit” From The XConfessions Series

3. Don’t forget other erogenous zones.

“Dominate Me” From the XConfessions Series

We all know the obvious ones – nipples, neck etc. but find out where else makes her feel pleasure and the combination of penetration and other stimulation will double the fun.

4. No fisting beforehand.

The vagina does stretch (although it also stretches back) but by putting something large up there, you’re only going to force comparison.

🔥 TIP: Women can train their pelvic floor muscles with kegel exersizes: The Personal Pleasure Trainer

5. If she likes anal or anal pleasure, try using a butt plug.

This will push into the vaginal wall and make her feel tighter, and if you’re lucky and have a vibrating one, you’ll be able to feel it too.

🔥 TIP: You can get different sized and vibrating butt plugs: The Tano Vibrating Plug

6. Try touching around the area you enter.

If she likes it, you can start slipping fingers inside her too while you penetrate her slowly.

🔥 TIP: Or you can try this couples vibrator: We Vibe 4 Couples

Position 1: The Flexed Doggy Style.

In this position you start in doggy style, but the woman puts her chest and head on the bed, with her bottom in the air. The male penetrates her from behind but moves his knees back slightly and tilts his pelvis forward for a deeper penetration.

Position 2: The Propped Reverse Cowgirl.

Like cowgirl, but with a pillow under his bottom to elevate his penis and get a deeper penetration.

Position 3: The Side Cowgirl.

Again like cowgirl, but the woman swings both legs over to one side and leans back onto the male’s torso. This creates more of an angle and therefore a different sensation.

Position 4: The Pile Driver.

This is for people with good knees and a little thigh strength. The woman lies on her back with her knees by her shoulders, while he squats in front of her. You can lean on her rib cage for balance as you move in and out.

Position 5: Upside Down Cowgirl.

Cowgirl, but with his head and back leaning off the bed. This forces his pelvis up and his cock deeper.

“Manual Del Placer” From the XConfessions Series
Tips and positions for bigger than average

1. Always at the beginning let her take control.

Last thing you want is to lose control and hurt her.

2. Start off slow.

3. Use loads of lube.

The wetter the vagina, the easier and more pleasurable it will be for both of you.

🔥 TIP: Get yourselves ready: Premium Water Based Lubricant

4. Have a lot of foreplay. 

If you are really big, maybe try using some sex toys first.

“Meow Kittens Orgy” From the XConfessions Series

5. Avoid doggy style, especially if it’s your first time together.

You can easily hit the cervix and that can hurt.

Position 1: Side by side.

She can hold onto the base of your penis and control how much enters, so that there’s no nasty surprises. It’s essentially like spooning but facing each other, with her legs wrapped around your hips. From here she can grind up and down on you.

Position 2: Spooning.

This position is good if you want to go hard and lose control but need something to stop all of you entering her. The cushioning of her bottom creates a barrier to stop you going too far inside.

Position 3: Cowgirl. 

Essentially anything where the woman can take the reigns is the best option.

“A Feminist Man” From the XConfessions Series

Some tips for all penis sizes

Fuck with your hips.

Sex is a whole body motion and there is no formula, or magic rhythm, that will make a great shag. It’s about communicating and figuring out how your bodies fit together – which can change every day.magic-magnus

Most women come from the clitoris, so don’t neglect it.

A lot of women may feel great pleasure from penetration but not actually have an orgasm. So it’s always better to assume they’ll enjoy clitoral stimulation at the same time than assuming they don’t need it. Normally we do.

🔥 TIP: This is a cute beginners toy!: The Diamond Mini Vibe

Communication is key.

Everyone is different – and the best way to find out how to make someone feel good and what they like is to ask them.

Sometimes missionary is the best.

So what if you’re not doing sexual gymnastics all the time? Missionary can be the most intimate of positions.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Or at least, can feel incredible. You don’t always have to be a Duracell Rabbit.

“Come Fly With Me” From the XConfessions Series

If you’re really worried that your penis won’t feel good (it will), indulge in a lot of foreplay first.

It will get you super hard, her super wet, and that combination is always the best way to build your confidence and help you relax and enjoy yourselves!
and remember to have fun! Everyone is a special and unique snowflake, and the way we have sex and what we enjoy is an ever fluctuating and evolving thing. Conversation about, around and during sex is the beginning of creating a more sex-positive global society. And we all need some cheering up after the news this week…
Got any more tips for different sizes/shapes? Requests for different guides? What do you want to know about? Let me know in the comments below! And good luck…

“Boat Buddies With Benefits” From the XConfessions Series

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