25 July, 2014

The end is near. We only have 6 months to revel in what is left of life as we know it, before Valentines Day 2015… aka the release of the 50 Shades of Grey movie/catastrophe.

Considering this trailer has already been played 6 million times in under 24 hours, I’m sure you’ve already seen it (and consequently vomited). If not, here you go:

You know my opinion of the Fifty-Shades-of-Male-Fantasy story … which, as I’m sure you know, was originally Twilight fan fiction (which explains the f*cked up relationship of the main characters) … but I’m curious, what’s yours? Does it look like a decent film to you? Would you see it? Is it a disappointment that such a novel about (bad) sex is not an X film?

24 July, 2014


Critique My Dick Pic is just way too good. So good, that you will probably waste an entire morning reading every single entry like I did when I first found it.

This tumblr site’s mission is to improve the quality of dick pics as well as promote their consensual delivery. A lawyer from New Zealand moonlights as the blog’s highly-qualified, straight-shooting, hilarious author and critic. Everything about it is refreshing – from the no size or body shaming attitude to the devastatingly honest cases where she must inform the sender that their efforts were just no good at all.

And let’s be honest, the vast majority of dick pics sent (often unsolicited unfortunately) are awful. So if your lover, tindr flirt, bootie call, or secret office hookup could use a few pointers to master the art of the erotic and arousing dick pic, send them critiquemydickpic.tumblr.com !



22 July, 2014

Last week, Australian model, DJ and VJ Ruby Rose released this video about gender identity and fluidity… and I would argue about traditional beauty standards as well.

If you don’t know much about Ruby Rose, the transformation is startling. From the barbie dol at the beginning to the smoldering James Drean at the end, she is stunning. But the power of this video is that it speaks about authenticity and being true to yourself … even if that means telling society to go f*ck itself.

21 July, 2014

It’s no secret that the adult industry is rampantly sexist. Porn is a form of entertainment traditionally made by and for men. This is why I wasn’t really surprised at my chilly reception upon making my first xxx film in 2004. According to fellow (male) directors and producers, all of my ideas were ridiculous:

“It’s a waste of money to shoot in high quality.”
“This isn’t the 70s – who watches porn with a story?”
“Women’s pleasure is irrelevant in a sex film, since it’s all about the men.”
And, the most obvious of all, “women don’t watch porn.”

The Good Girl Set(Looking a bit overwhelmed at my first shoot in 2004)

Looking back on it, I’m sure they were threatened and a bit insulted, because I made no secret of my distaste for the mainstream films, nor of my passion to show the industry something better. In short, I was telling them to evolve or get out of the way for the next generation. Their hostility to women and game-changers infiltrating their ‘boys club’ was at least understandable, if moronic.

XC set May(Way more relaxed 10 years later!)

But when I see those same sexist tropes in the fashion industry… Now that is more confusing.

It’s art and business that’s primarily aimed at women: how could it be as chauvinist and hostile to women as porn? Now I’m not just talking about the design aspect of the industry, where designers are lauded for creating impractical garments that only fit super skinny models and wouldn’t be appropriate or affordable for the average modern woman. No, I’m talking about the most obvious part that we are bombarded with on a daily basis. The advertising.

dolce_gabbana_ad(The highly controversial, gang-rape style ad of Dolce and Gabbana)

It’s also no secret that sex sells… and don’t I know this better than anybody? But what I am selling is actually directly related to sex, not trying to confuse our lust for sex with lust for products. Several brands have been highlighted recently for their blatant use of sex in advertising their increasingly risqué clothing … and for their apparent financial decline. Some – like American Apparel – may have multiple factors at play, while others – like Bebe – just aren’t finding traction with their sleazy image.

sisley_brand(A Sisley advertizement gets crass)

So what changed? Abercrombie & Fitch has been peddling billboards of apparently-naked men for decades and it seemed to work okay. American Apparel shocked and titillated with its early campaigns: using sex appeal to sell such sundry basics as t-shirts and socks. My theory? BAD sex doesn’t sell. And this is one similarity between the porn and fashion industries.

american apparel 1(Am I the only one who is seeing more playboy than fashion here?)

What do I mean by ‘bad sex’? It is a stale stereotype, a male gaze, where women are receptacles for men’s lust, violence and predation. Women have no autonomy over their sexuality, because their sexuality only exists such as men have defined it. And this is crap of course. This is not how savvy, modern women express themselves. This does not sell. Creativity sells, ingenuity sells, fresh perspective sells.

american apparel 2(Now, if I could only figure out what was being sold here …)

I think this is what made American Apparel’s strategy so genius when I first discovered it in the early 2000s. Young people saw their pornographic ads (or mannequins with pubic hair, nowadays) and identified with this kind of explicit imagery to which they were more and more easily accustomed. It was bringing the taboo mainstream, which is always attractive. But when it gets to the point where the majority of your advertising relies solely on this kind of imagery, and becomes more and more like chauvinist porn, the strategy becomes stale. We, the public, lose interest.

fashion-or-porn-game(Play the game! See if you can beat my record of 7)

Have you ever played the game Fashion or Porn? Try it, and see how many of your wrong answers were due to American Apparel advertizements featuring only a close-up of a derriere. Truly, their variety of tacky sexual poses knows no bounds.

good_porn_good_sex(Some examples of classy sex on Tumblr and in advertizements)

Mainstream porn is in decline because it is this same bad sex stereotype recycled over and over again. And it looks like fashion may be experiencing the same thing now. I only wonder whether parallel change will take place in the industries, where independent and forward-thinking companies who show sex in a different light earn more, while the boring powerhouses remain in decline.

18 July, 2014

Last year, I used IndieGoGo to fund the translation of my manuscript “Como Rodar Sexo” into the English version “Let’s Make a Porno” with fantastic results! It is now A FREE eBOOK and one of my most popular downloads at Lust Store.

lets make a porno book

If you’ve ever thought about making your own movie – whether it’s a home video of sexcapades for private use, or an indie film you want to take to all the porn film festivals – I’ve got all the tips, tricks and information you’ll need to make that a reality … based on my 10 years of independent erotic filmmaking.

Some of the topics are:

how to keep your film safe
thinking outside the box when it comes to scriptwriting
technical considerations
distribution & promotion
why we need more women directors in the genre

17 copy

Well this summer, with the help of wonderful Gdańsk-based erotic store Kinky Winky, I want to translate the book into Polish!
I am hoping it will inspire a new generation of filmmakers in Poland, where (like many places in the world) sex is something everyone does and is interested in … and yet is still a taboo topic! But thanks to passionate individuals and sex-positive businesses like Kinky Winky, this will soon change.

If you would like to read my free eBook in Polish, please consider DONATING HERE to fund the project … where you can also pick up fabulous gifts for your contribution!


16 July, 2014

I’ve decided to stray from my usual Wednesday Wisdom section in honor of some very WTF articles I’ve been saving on my computer for the past few weeks. Every time I looked at them and thought about blogging, the only thought they really provoked was WTF?!

wtf wednesday_bear

A recent find in the dollar bin at a Canadian bookstore reminds us of this award winning explicit romance about a woman and a BEAR. Yes, an actual bear. Loving the cover, by the way!

Lick This! Cunnilingus need improvement? There’s an app for that!

If you’ve been looking for more intimacy with your partner in the bedroom, well look no furhter! The Svakom Gaga toy from China allows you to gaze upon your partner’s innards thanks to a little camera implanted in the wand. It just reminds me of going to the gyno.

This real-time feed of porn searches is absolutely illuminating. In the 5 minutes I couldn’t tear my eyes away, the best by far were: ball punching, ghetto butterfly, british grannies, insect on ass, petite garce, redneck trailer trash …. and Kate Winslet. Nice.wtf wednesday_porn

Happy hump day!