22 October, 2014

Still-Not-Asking-for-it

I wish I could say, “only in Spain,” but the fact is that governments throughout the world tend to take this outlook on ‘prevention’ of violence against women. Putting responsibility on the women with these “helpful” tips no doubt does more to scare them than deter any possible rape attempts. These instructions were updated after an event in Malaga, where a young woman was sexually assaulted by several men after walking home from work one evening.
Among them include:
- avoid bus stops at night
- attain a whistle
- when parking, stay in your car until you know it’s safe to come out
- when entering your car, make sure there is no one inside
- don’t put your name on your mailbox
- close your curtains to avoid prying eyes
- don’t get into elevators if a stranger is in them

In other words, be afraid, be very afraid … and don’t live your life.
Living in a city like Barcelona means of course it’s unwise to walk a long distance home, alone and possibly a little drunk at 4am in a deserted alleyway in a rough neighborhood – and that goes for both men AND women.
This laundry list is ridiculous because it seems we are blaming the victim for not following the rules: “well it’s not surprising that she was violated, she carried no whistle after all.”
Here’s an idea – why doesn’t the government do more to prevent rape by educating more young men and boys about consent and the consequences of ignoring it, offering more resources for victims so that they feel safe reporting the crime while there is time to make a case, and higher penalties for perpetrators?

So take note, Spanish government, and everyone else out there – here are some improved rape prevention tips:
rape prevention


21 October, 2014

Dick pics. We’ve all seen them or sent them.

But how do you master the art of capturing peen in a graceful, sophisticated, and alluring way?
Inspired by one of favorite Tumblrs, Critique My Dick Pic, comes a stylish how-to video by Adult Magazine that raised my heart rate faster than any 50 Shades trailer ever could. It spells out the key elements of the perfect sexy selfie – lighting, grooming, health, attention to detail, and of course framing with a hand – all in the smooth voiceover reminiscent of the popular films American Psycho and Gattaca.


20 October, 2014

xc wish i was a lesbian still

One of the world’s leading free adult streaming sites, Pornhub, has recently revealed statistics on what their women viewers search for and watch. And while they might have found the results surprising, I for one did not. As a site catering to, and run by men leads me to question the legitimacy of these ‘statistics’ about women, and I’m not the only one … many people are left asking “how exactly can they tell if a user is a woman?” And wouldn’t the users ALREADY be those looking for the mainstream, hard core material?

Like with all sites of it’s kind, just the home page might be enough to scare some porn novices away: hundreds of scenes (and even more graphic advertizements) picturing voluptuous women wearing heavy makeup, having all manner of orifices filled. The texts accompanying the video clips manage to be even worse than the images, often just stringing together nonsense tag words that have nothing to do with the video at all.

xc motherfucker

For those who are well acquainted with the site and its content, and who know what they want to watch, it’s a simple matter to use the search bar. For those interested in browsing, there are a few dozen convenient categories from which you can choose. Most streaming sites now offer the category ‘For Women’ – the logical place for women to browse for videos, isn’t it?

Well actually, no. After conducting their own study, Pornhub found that women viewers were actually watching movies in the Lesbian and Gay categories at higher rates than that ‘For Women.’ The author doesn’t offer an explanation, but to me this clearly signals that women know pleasure when they see it, and don’t want traditional chauvinist attitudes ruling their sex movies. They would rather watch lesbian sex because it portrays a fairer power balance that isn’t all about superiority, pushing, shoving and dominance.
I see further evidence of this in the women’s search terms: “eating pussy,” “licking pussy,” “tribbing,” and “scissoring.” It’s all centered on the clitoris! Women know what pleasure feels like and looks like … and it doesn’t look like a person being solely a vehicle for men’s orgasm!

XC first time oysters

So where is Pornhub’s For Women category falling short? Well, one look will tell you that whoever curates the videos equates ‘what women want’ with slow, hetero sex with lots of kissing, filmed in HD using lots of light and crisp bed sheets. It’s the male idea of what female sexuality is. And that’s IT. Where are the stories of sexual women seeking and finding their pleasure, rather than being passive players? Where is the diversity in performers, bodies, sex acts and fetishes? Where can we find men jerking off, women tribbing, blowjobs and pegging in the same place? Where are the movies MADE BY women?

If you’re looking for smart porn like this, it’s clear you won’t be finding it on Pornhub, where their own study shows us that women want something smart, something new, something different. And for that, you’ll have to go somewhere that celebrates those values, like my own Lust Cinema and XCONFESSIONS!


16 October, 2014

It’s that time of year again … for the Porn Film Festival Berlin!

PFFBerlin

Now in its 9th edition, the festival is fun and forward-thinking – attracting some of the biggest names in the independent adult industry, and helping fledgling filmmakers get noticed. Founded in response to the “growing demand for explicit sex that empowers” this 5-day extravaganza not only holds porn screenings (as well as sex documentaries), but also workshops, Q&As and nightly erotic parties. If you are anywhere near Berlin, or have been dreaming of a short and sexy city break, this is your chance!

Oh, and if you’re interested in performing, such notable names as Ms. Naughty and DuskTV will be filming during the festival.

sadistic trainer xc erika lustA still from the Xconfession ‘Sadistic Trainer’ one of the 9 films included in Volume 1

While I won’t be able to make it this year, there WILL be a special screening of XCONFESSIONS VOL 1. Along with my work, I’m pleased to see that other feminist names like Petra Joy, Maria Beatty, Courtney Trouble and Jacky St. James from the United States will be showcased, as well as a wonderful multitude of work from Australia: including Ms. Naughty, Michelle Flynn, Gala Vanting and Zahra Stardust (AUS).


14 October, 2014

If you’ve ever watched Lena Dunham’s HBO series, Girls, then it’s easy to imagine the writer knows a thing or two about bad sex. Truly, the awkward scenes are one of the staples of the show – at once both refreshing (compared to the stylish sex broadcasted by most TV) and incredibly explicit (which is a feat for anything shown on HBO alongside series like Game of Thrones).

not that kind of girl_1

So when I picked up Dunham’s memoir, Not That Kind of Girl, I was pretty prepared for the first chapter – which jumps straight into forging her sex life in university. Now, I haven’t finished the book yet, but I have to say I was disappointed by the utter lack of even DECENT sex.
Needless to say, her experiences and mine – more than a few of which inspired erotic novel La Canción de Nora – are like night and day. That being said, one of the reasons I love her show, and now her writing, is this unflinching look at the good, the bad and the ugly in relationships. Especially some of the less-than-glamorous ones from our early 20s.

Whether it’s describing her first attraction to a bad boy…

“He wore a leather jacket, rode a motorcycle before the legal age, smoked, and treated his elders with a kind of disrespect I had never seen executed by any of the boys at Quaker school.”

Her first time receiving cunnilingus…

“I felt like I was being chewed on by a child that wasn’t mine.”

Having sex for the first time…

“he was nervous, and, in a nod to gender equality, neither of us came.”

Or even for the second time…

“I clung to him, figuring he’d let me know if this wasn’t what sex was supposed to be like.”

… Dunham shows us no mercy. Whether you squirm, laugh, or cringe inside at the familiarity of it all, I think – as in the tv series – the honesty is refreshing and endearing.

lena-dunham-terry-richardson

So when does this writer talk about GOOD SEX? Luckily, she touches on the subject in this clip addressing one of her fans … where she explains that ‘good sex’ doesn’t necessarily equate to ‘being good AT sex’ but rather something that happens between two people who want to please one another. Wise words indeed!


13 October, 2014

I couldn’t believe how fun and sexy these new stamps are:

Tom of Finland stamps

They are designed by artist “Tom of Finland,” the iconic homoerotic illustrator active during the middle of the 20th century, who was a major influence to those like Robert Mapplethorpe, Freddie Mercury and The Village People.

Bold nudes, sculpted bodies, the manliest of mustaches … all wrapped up in leather. What’s not to like?? Inspired by these three postal stamps and matching postcards newly approved by the Finnish postal service, I checked out his other erotic works. And these include everything from bold and impressionistic fetish works, to intimate portraits, to dreamy cubist depictions of many, varied (and enormous) genitalia.

Simply wonderful :)

 


10 October, 2014

I’m so excited to announce that this autumn I have been invited to go on a little European tour to give a speech!

Volkstheater

First, I will be in Vienna on November 1st to do a TED talk. Wow – just like my heroes Esther Perel and Sherry Turkle! I still can’t get over how cool it is. The TEDxVienna conference has the theme of “Brave New Space” – and what better place to present my ideas and story about a brave new porn?
Afterwards, I will go to Paris to speak at the Happy Happening – an innovative women’s conference in it’s first year and in an amazing space, with the aim to “reveal the heroine in all of us.” I can’t tell you all how honored and thrilled I am to be speaking at these events.

happy_location

I have to admit that it has been a long, hard road to prepare for these events. I’m naturally pretty introverted, so to tell my story with hundreds of eyes watching (and in my 2nd language) was really daunting at first. Luckily I have had the guidance of two wonderful public speaking coaches: Florian Mueck, who lives here in Barcelona, and Olivia Schofield who lives in Berlin.

erika and oliviaOlivia training me to be a “knockout” public speaker

So please, please, if you are in Vienna or Paris those days and want to meet/support me and hear my kick-ass speech – make sure to sign up for these life changing and inspiring events! Oh, and be sure to join the conversation using the hashtag #CHANGEPORN on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram … it might give you some hint at what my talk is about!


9 October, 2014

He’s smart, feminist, and is willing to pay for your birth control: meet the Sexually Enlightened Man!
In what is by far the sexiest song of 2014, this R&B tune lays out how a man can treat a woman right … socio-politically right, baby.

How will he do it? Well, in the bedroom he believes that sex is a conversation (not a lecture), that reciprocity is key, that his orgasm isn’t the end of sex, and that lots of previous experience makes for better loving. Oh, and his night table boasts copies of the books “Bedroom Equality”, “Your Bodies Are Both Wonderlands” and “The Art of Cunnilingus”.

Are you a Sexually Enlightened Man or know one? Be sure to spread the word!


8 October, 2014

Each month, we publish at least two confessions: captivating words written by you, the audience, which I then choose to turn into my style of adult movie.
And I have to tell you … I am SO excited about the releases this month coming to xconfessions.com ! Stunning new locations, and the very best new performers combined with original, crowd sourced ideas combine to make October a month to remember.

hello pool boy

First, coming very soon on October 9th, there is the impossibly sexy story of a pool boy who guarantees wet and wild fun as part of his services, in Hello Pool Boy. Our protagonist is played by perfect gentleman and heartthrob, Ryan James, whose performance will leave you wanting a pool (not to mention a pool BOY) of your own.

ryan james

Co-starring in this sensuous and summery tale is Maria Agrado, a first-time performer from Italy who contacted me earlier this year after discovering my book, Good Porn: a Woman’s Guide. Her knockout looks and fierce passion about porn, her studies, and a myriad of other topics won me over instantly – and I’m sure you’ll be won over by the end of the film as well!

hello pool boy: maria agrado

Another performer new to XCONFESSIONS, Clarke Kent from the UK, was featured in the October 23rd release of A Weekend in the Garden of Eden. A dedicated educator for “fruitarian” lifestyle – in addition to his adult performing – Clarke is well-spoken, hilarious, and as vivacious as they come.

garden of eden1

Along with one of my favorite XCONFESSIONS performers in Barcelona, Samia Duarte, they bring to life the bizarre and yet tantalizing story of a woman who has an affair with her guru. Set out in the country to the south, the naturalism and chemistry were simply intoxicating! I hope you have as much fun watching this short film as I had making it :)

garden of eden2

If you haven’t become a member of my new adult cinema site, this month is the perfect opportunity to discover what truly GREAT erotic cinema can be!