To celebrate my latest porn for women on Lust Cinema Safe Word, I am devoting this week’s XConfessions App Guide to wax play. In the series Christie (Mona Wales) plays with some candles as she starts to explore the pleasures of BDSM for the first time. Whilst watching a scene from the XConfessions short film An Appointment with My Master in which Mickey Mod pours hot candle wax on Amarna Miller, Mona does the same on her own body whilst masturbating. It’s a very, very hot scene, and not just because there’s fire involved…
If you haven’t seen Safe Word yet you can watch the first episode for free here! So, if you want to experiment with BDSM and add some heat to your sex life, whether alone or with a partner, wax play can be a very erotic experience to explore sensations of pain and pleasure. So read on to learn how to keep things safe and sexy…
Wax play, or temperature play, is under the BDSM umbrella and involves dripping, pouring or brushing hot candle wax onto your body, or the body of your partner. It’s an accessible kink that can be used to explore pain and pleasure with minimal cost and preparation. The feeling of wax dripping on your skin is a very unique sensation that can be painful, relaxing and sensual – all at the same time! It can be done with a partner, in a group or by yourself.
Yep, you guessed it… candles. But it’s important to not grab just any old candle, you should opt for candles that are specifically designed for wax play as they burn at a lower temperature. You have some options. If you want to dip your toe in to test the waters of wax play you can start with Massage Candles. These are candles with a lower melting point so they turn into oil upon contact with your body.
If you want to go a bit harder and you’re looking for wax play that leaves wax on your body you’ll want to try more BDSM-focused options, as opposed to massage candles, and buy candles made especially for wax play. If that’s not an option, you can also buy any candles that are unscented, colourless and made from soy or paraffin. Soy is generally the safest since it cools quickest on the skin whereas paraffin will offer a more intense experience as it burns at a hotter temperature. It’s important to stay away from beeswax candles as they will burn your skin, and any candles that have colourings or scents added as this can affect the burning point. Basically, don’t just grab your average scented home candle. It’s easiest to use candle sticks, and I’d stay away from candles in a glass jar as the glass can heat up and burn you or even break if the wax is too hot.
No flammable objects! Make sure you don’t have any flammable things like underwear, drapes, hairspray, or alcohol around when you’re playing with candles. You should also make sure you have a wet towel or fire extinguisher near by, just incase!
Wax can be painful to remove from your skin once it hardens, so in addition to shaving any hair in the area it can also be a good idea to use lotion or oil on the body beforehand. A little massage with some baby oil before you start will not only make it easier to remove, but also give you a nice sensual warm up if you’re doing it with a partner! In terms of where to start on the body, stay away from the face, anywhere with open wounds, hair and the genitals. A good place to start is usually the torso or the back.
As always, communication is top priority. If you’re doing this with a partner/partners you should establish all of the boundaries before you start playing. Negotiate where on the body the wax will go, how much wax will be used, any techniques that you want to try and be sure to establish safe words. Once you’ve started to play be sure to check in with your partner throughout.
If you’re doing this on a partner you should check the temperature first on yourself to see how hot it is. Do a patch test on your arm or hand and then start by dripping wax farther away from your partner’s skin. The higher you go, the more time the wax has to cool before reaching your/your partner’s body and the cooler it will feel when it hits the skin. You can then experiment with moving closer to their skin after seeing their reactions. It’s advised that you always keep at least 15 inches from the body, avoid getting closer than this unless you’re fine with the risk of burning the skin.
Play with how you let the wax fall on the body. Try dripping it, pouring it, or letting it roll down the skin. You can treat the body like a canvas and layer the wax spots to play with different patterns. You might want to experiment with timings so that your partner is anticipating when the next drop will be or even blindfold them for an added element of surprise.
Removing the wax is the best part for some people and there are a lot of options. You can use an ice cube to harden the wax which will give a nice cooling sensation for the receiver and can make removal easier. You can also use your fingernails to scrape them off, experimenting with how gentle or rough you do this. You can also try slowly peeling it off or removing it very quickly. Once the majority is off you can use a wet towel to wipe up any residue and then it’s time for the most important part…
Like all BDSM play, wax play should involve aftercare. This can be whatever the receiver wants it to be. Whether it’s cuddles, spooning, hair stroking, or a soothing massage with aloe vera, be sure to provide it.
If you haven’t watched Safe Word yet, watch the first episode for free here!