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An Introductory Guide to Yoni Massage

An Introductory Guide to Yoni Massage

Erika Lust | April 17, 2020 | 7 min. read

Ever felt interested by yoni massage? Yoni massages can help with having more pleasurable sex post-treatment and in some cases they can be used to release pain and even trauma that you might be holding in the pelvic area. Although usually administered by a practitioner, you can also try yoni massage at home either with a partner or by doing it on yourself.

This is an introductory guide to yoni massage that will give you some tips on how to get started with this tantric practice. The guide is aimed at people who will give or receive a massage with their partner but it can also be adapted for self administered yoni massage. It’s very important that the person giving the massage does their homework before trying anything and the person receiving the massage is open and ready to direct their partner; they are the ones in control of this experience.

So, read on for some tips on how to give your vulva some extra love…

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What is yoni massage?

Yoni massage is a tantric sex practice that involves massaging the vagina, which is called yoni in Sanskrit and roughly translates to “sacred space”. The practice gives you time to slowly explore your body in a more sensual way and discover new parts of your body that feel good. Traditionally, a yoni practitioner carefully massages the vulva and vagina whilst the receiver performs breathing exercises. The idea is that both mental and physical tensions are freed. Orgasm is not mandatory, and although some people may have an orgasm during the massage, reaching climax isn’t the goal.

What are the benefits?

It can be very healing for people who have suffered sexual trauma or for people who suffer with pain during sex, uncomfortable pelvic tightness, chronic pelvic pain or menstruation pains. It can also help people with vaginas who struggle with intimacy or touch, or people who have not yet reached orgasm. Aside from these reasons, yoni massage can also help people discover new areas of pleasure, achieve multiple orgasms and it can also increase the intensity of orgasms.

An introduction to giving a yoni massage…

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1. Set the mood

As always, before you get started set the scene so that you feel comfortable and can relax fully. Think about the temperature and the lighting in the room, dim the lights and turn on a heater or let in some fresh air depending on your needs.

Play some calming and romantic music and choose a comfortable spot. Have the receiver lie on their back with pillows under their head and hips, genitals easily accessible for massage.

It’s also very important to ensure complete privacy in a quiet space – you don’t want to be interrupted by anyone or not feel fully relaxed because you’re worried about someone walking in on you. And make sure you have time, you don’t want to be rushing this. Ensuring that you have a solid hour of alone time will let you both get in the zone and make the most of the experience.

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2. Breathing

The receiver of the massage should start with a full body scan and set their own intention for the massage. Breathing is central to yoni massage and so it’s important to start with some deep-breathing exercises to connect and bring awareness to the body.

So, simply close your eyes and breathe deeply. Take some time noticing how the air comes into your lungs and leaves again. Intentionally slow down your breath and move your shoulder and hips around. Can you feel tension anywhere? If you can, acknowledge it, and breathe into it.

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3. Start with the upper body

Instead of heading straight to the vulva, the giver should start with a gentle massage of the upper body. Use some natural oil on the belly and gently massage the rib cage, between the breasts and the lower abdomen. Once the body starts to heat up you can move to the breasts, but don’t touch the nipples yet… Use gentle caresses and when the receiver’s body starts to respond more you can move to the nipples with gentle teases and circling actions.

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4. The yoni

When the receiver is ready to move down to the vulva, the giver should start by gently stroking their inner thighs, experimenting with different strokes and pressures. Again, when the receiver is ready, the giver can move onto the labia. Rub your fingers mindfully around each lip and touch every crevasse and contour slowly and gently. Using gentle movements try to work on the outer labia first before moving to the inner labia. It can also be nice to add in some extra lubrication here.

If you’d like to try rolling, take some tissue of the outer or inner labia in between your middle finger and thumb, moving the fingers in opposite directions, rolling over the tissue. Ask the receiver if they like this sensation. When you feel the time is right you can move towards the clitoris, bringing sensation to the area but not directly on to it. Small circular movements using two or three fingers around the hood of the clitoris should be performed slowly and mindfully. The massage does not need to go inside the vagina, massaging the vulva and the thighs can provide enough relief, however if the receiver would like to have an internal massage this is something that you can move on to next.

You can gently put one finger inside the vagina, and move your finger around like clock work, applying gentle pressure and checking in with the receiver to see if they’re feeling any pain, numbness, or pleasure before moving to the next number on the clock. If there tension or tightness in a spot, stay with it, hold it there for a moment and breathe through it with the receiver. If you want to go deeper into the practice, you can also try some G spot exploration with a “come hither” motion or a windshield wiper motion.

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The Finish

Orgasm is not the purpose of yoni massage and there should never be any pressure to climax from this experience, but if something felt pleasurable for the receiver and they want to explore that further, please do. If it feels like the clitoris would like more attention then feel free, or if you feel that what you’ve done is enough, stick with that and end the massage there. Once the yoni massage has come to an end, take a moment to soak it all in. You can apply pressure to the vulva with the palm of one hand, whilst using applying pressure with the other hand on the upper body if it feels good. If you’ve tried yoni massage with a partner you can discuss the experience together, and if you did it alone you could write your thoughts and feelings about the experience down in a journal. How ever your experience is, be sure to listen to your body and take things easily and slowly.

I would love to hear more about your experiences with yoni massage and any other tips you have. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments!

You can also check out my other Guides to the XConfessions App & if you haven’t played the XConfessions App yet you can download it here.


The XConfessions App is a sexual fantasy game for couples who want to discover some new kinks and spice things up in their sex life.

Available for free on the App store & Google Play NOW!

Erika Lust is an award-winning filmmaker, producer, and writer who's focus on female pleasure, cinematic values, and ethics in adult cinema have helped to change how pornography is consumed. Erika Lust Films was born in 2004 and since then Erika has ... Read More
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