Men love sex, men love gadgets, so why is there not a massive crossover that meets the two? When you consider the average man will masturbate around three times per week on average throughout their lives, why do so few spend any money on their personal sexual pleasure yet thousands of pounds on gym gear, golf clubs or games consoles? The global sex toy market is set to be worth $52.7bn per year by 2026, but - while around 52 per cent of women use a toy during masturbation - why do only 23 per cent of men do the same?
The simple answer is, they don’t know what they’re missing. The male sex toy game has evolved stratospherically beyond gross-looking blow-up sex dolls, pussy-in-a-can and vibrating cock rings which do more for your partner than for you. They do not have to be a shameful item, a horror of a plastic body part that hangs around the house. Whether you long for a replication of oral, vaginal or anal sex or - even - something which expands your length, girth or personal sexual performance - there is a device out there to create a sensuous, mindful experience just for you.
What if you took your masturbatory experience away from just pornography or what was in your head? Instead of being all about how you think it feels, instead make it all about how it really feels.
When we think of female masturbation, we think of an array of empowering, personal choices. Not just hands but toys, vibrators, a kaleidoscope of different devices. When women buy toys it’s treated as a positive choice about your own sexuality, so much so, they even have parties and promoters over to their front rooms to help them decide.
With men, it’s pornography and jacking off. Only, with a lot of pornography on the free tube sites which use algorithms to offer you more and more extreme material, you are no longer centring your enjoyment on yourself, it’s a hunger for the next video, placing your consciousness outside of your body. For men, sex is something you see, rather than something you feel or linger over.
Toys can switch that up. Instead of focussing on what’s happening on a screen, focus on you. Let’s say you love blow jobs. Instead of zeroing in on an oral sex encounter on screen that isn’’t happening to you, instead enjoy a slow, luxurious experience with an oral suction cup (circa $35 for a lifetime of battery operated blow jobs). All at the depth, speed and strength you like for as long as you like. Some partners don’t like oral sex, and so why not add that facet into your own self love whenever you like? Or even, with a partner? A partner that doesn’t have to give oral sex won’t pass up the opportunity to use a toy on you, while still having two hands and a mouth free to pleasure you in all other ways.
For entry level - so to speak - Tenga do a single-use throw-away suction cup if you wanted to try one out, or you can max out on one with a human-like pallet that vibrates and rolls at differing speeds to match whatever kind of oral you are after.
Toys can not only get you off, but make you a better lover too. Toys are about touch and sensuality, enjoying and experimenting with a different type of sensation, exactly the kind of caress and ingenuity that you can match on your partner.
Also, a toy can help up your performance. First off, add extra minutes to your edging game. Ever tried taking yourself all the way to the edge and then staying there to enjoy the pleasure? A toy adds a new veneer of ecstasy to delayed ejaculation, especially if you hand over the power to your partner who holds the device.
This can also boost your performance in bed. Many devices now are specifically created for you to learn how to delay your ejaculation - a product called MyHixel even has an app which syncs to a penis device so you can learn how to delay your orgasm longer using mindfulness games.
Whilst there are a range of plastic looking vaginas (i.e, Fleshlight) or pouting latex mouths, they needn’t look so creepy. Just as the women’s market has moved away from fleshy-looking, veiny dildos and more into smooth ergonomically designed massagers, so has the male market.
Many sheaths or sleeves are an easy entry point for the novice sex toy buyer. You simply slide the lubed-up latex sleeve - all having their own unique range of stimulating surfaces, made up of ridges, dots and bumps - over your dick and add your own pressure and speed for a controlled, quaking orgasm.
If you want to add instant extra magic to your relationship, you can even get penis extenders - a strap-on that you slip yourself into - that adds as much as three inches to your length, whilst also giving you penetrative pleasure and control.
Far from adding fear to your relationship, sex toys can strengthen it. So many sexual relationships end because of infidelity or a thirst for something new, even though - day to day - there is nothing else amiss with the relationship. Adding a toy can add a new frisson of excitement and extra naughty dimensions for both of you.
Consider the science. There is an orgasm gap between men and women. Researchers from the Archives of Sexual Behavior assessed the sex lives of over 52,500 adult Americans. They found that 95 per cent of straight men said they usually or always climax whereas 65 per cent of heterosexual women said the same.
However, another orgasm gap actually swings back in women’s favour. While women orgasm less during straight sex, the male orgasm lasts only 3-10 seconds. The female orgasm - of which, experts believe, there are up to twelve different types (men just have one) - can last up to twenty seconds. That's before we get to the phenomenon of the female multiple orgasm where orgasms roll concurrently one after the other, something that - try as we might - no man can realistically dream of having.
Why not invest in your orgasmic pleasure to get even more of it? Broadening your sexual pleasure - either alone or with a partner - making you a more sensual lover; making you last longer and, crucially of course, helping you enjoy yourself where you don't need a partner at all.
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