Ask Lust: How Do I Use a Cock Ring?

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Dear Ask Lust,

I'm a 39 year old gay man and I've been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We have pretty "vanilla" sex but we enjoy it and haven't really felt the need to mix it up. However… recently I've been getting the urge to experiment more (maybe it's because I want to see out my youth before I turn 40!) and a friend told me about his good experiences with cock rings. I don't really know where to start but I want to try one! Do you have any advice on how to use them? By myself or with my boyfriend? And do you have any product recommendations?

— Harry

Hi Harry, this is Roberto, Product Manager of Erika Lust’s adult film site Lust Cinema. I was recently in the same position as you, hoping to explore cock rings with my husband, and so Erika has passed the Ask Lust mic over to me to test out some toys and give you some advice.

I’ve learnt that penis rings aka cock rings are one of the most popular toys for a reason and can be a great addition to the bedroom! They’re fun to use with a partner but they’re also fun to use alone, plus they’re super affordable and they come in all different types of shapes and sizes. So, it was my pleasure (really) to do this research for you…

What Does a Cock Ring Do?

Cock rings are for penis havers and are worn around the base of the penis (and sometimes over the balls too!) to make your erection harder and last longer. They work by restricting blood flow to the penis which helps you stay hard.

You can get them in different types of materials including flexible silicone and hard metal, and you can get vibrating ones with all different types of settings or you can get plain ones that don’t vibrate at all. Vibrating ones give an added benefit of pleasure for the person wearing the ring and if there is penetration for the person being penetrated too.

⚠️ Warning: Do not try this part at home! ⚠️

I must confess that my experience with cock rings was a little different to the standard reasons for trying one… Basically it started when I bought some very tight leggings for the gym and suddenly I noticed that my cock didn’t look as good as it used to! Call me vein but I wanted my penis to look bigger and as spectacular as it does in my underwear and so I tried a basic cock ring underneath my leggings during a fitness class. Please repeat after me; Do Not Try This At Home!

Cock rings are not supposed to be worn for more than 30 minutes, so after class my penis was almost purple! I do not recommend anyone try this! However, my mind was opened up to the possibilities of the penis ring so I started to use them as god intended… in my sex life.

How To Use a Cock Ring

It’s pretty self explanatory when you look at the ring but basically it goes penis in hole! Stretchy silicone ones are the best for starting out as you can stretch it over the penis and get a feel for it. It can also be fun to start off with the cheaper and more basic ones, and work your way up to the more fancy ones.

Start by adding a little bit of lube to the inside of the ring before putting it on. This will make it easier to slide on and more comfortable for the wearer. Although don’t put too much on as it can make it move a lot around your penis! Remember: silicone lubricants aren’t safe to use with silicone toys, so aim for water-based lubes to stay safe.

Get the fit of the ring right, it should be tight enough to restrict the blood flow to your penis but it shouldn’t be too tight that it hurts. If it does hurt, take it off! We don't want any more purple penises around here.

If it vibrates, once it’s on you can experiment with the different vibrations, moving it up and down. If you’re using the ring to masturbate, you can put the penis ring low with the vibrating part stimulating your balls, but if you’re with a partner the pleasure for the other person will be better if the sensor is as a crown on your penis with the sensor up.

My Top Tips on Using a Cock Ring

Play with the vibrations to play with your erection — if your erection is coming a bit down you can increase a bit the level of intensity, however, if you are about to cum and you want your orgasm to delay it is better to put less intensity on it, it can seems a bit complicated but if you think on it as a game it is quite fun, what is sex but fun and discover new ways to feel pleasure?

Use it to masturbate with — start by putting the ring in your glans, and let him vibrate it for a while without touching your penis, even you can play for a while with a little lube on it moving it a bit.

Explore other erogenous zones — take it off the penis and put it in your hand and explore your partners body with it!

TOR 2 by Lelo

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Lelo’s TOR 2 is a premium vibrating cock ring for couples that is fully waterproof and rechargeable. It has smooth silicone and you can move the thicker vibrating part to have either on top or below, touching your balls or stimulating your partner.

My personal experience with this toy was great! I loved the soft silicone and I found the size of the whole device to be perfect as it’s not too big and not too small. Depending on the size of the penis maybe the size of the actual ring could be a bit small, for my husband it was a little too tight. There are six different levels of vibrations on the device and the level of intensity was very powerful which was great! But to be honest I couldn’t feel much difference between the different levels.

Pros: soft silicone, size, level of intensity.
Cons: Could be too small, not much difference between the levels of vibration.

Verge by We-Vibe

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I must confess that this ring was the most complicated for me to use. The material the ring is made from is a little thick and stuff, so it’s easiest to put on and remove whilst you’re flaccid. This means that you have to wait for a bit to lose your erection when it’s on or you can’t remove it so it can be a bit uncomfortable to use.

However, where it fails with ease of use, it more than makes up for with pleasure! The vibrating part sits behind your balls in the perineum and the stimulation was really good. I also loved that you only had to press one button to get it going so there was less fumbling around!

As the vibration is behind your balls, this device seems better for personal pleasure as opposed to giving your partner pleasure during penetration. It was also a bit uncomfortable when having sex as my balls were like nuts between a butt and a rigid silicone ring so I was a bit afraid of hurting myself 😅

Pros: Great for pleasuring the perineum, ease of use once it’s on
Cons: Thick hard material, difficult to put on and take off, not much stimulation for the receiver

The Royal One by Satisfyer

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This cock ring is a bit different to the others as you can control it with the Satisfyer Connect App. Using the app, you can create new vibration programmes, exchange them with other users, control it anywhere in the world over the Internet – or let someone else control it!

The app is great because you have a lot of pre-defined programmes, you can create your own and you can select different types of intensities and play with them in loops. However, it can take away some of the spontaneity of using it as by the time I had downloaded the app and worked out how to use it, my husband had lost interest and so I ended up using it alone for the first time.

As for the actual ring, the charger is really good and the intensity of the vibrations is very powerful. I found the device slightly thick and heavy but the silicone was soft and elastic.

Pros: the app can be fun, vibrations are good, silicone is soft
Cons: a little bit too heavy and the app could take away some of the “moment” if you’re using it spontaneously

Pivot by We-Vibe

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We-Vibe Pivot is a vibrating, flexible ring that offers different vibe settings with a simple button or through an app. I have mixed feelings about this ring. On the plus side, the material is really soft and the charger method is great. It's a more "standard" looking ring that should get the job done nice and easily. Plus, the intensity button is fantastic and is sure to make you even harder very fast!

However, I found the device in general a bit too big and heavy. Plus, the hole for the penis is quite small so it was really uncomfortable. I actually couldn’t finish my experience with it because my penis was starting to hurt and go purple. Note: I don’t have a huge elephant dick, just a regular latino dick!

Pros: Soft material, charging method, good intensity
Cons: The device is too big and the hole is too small

I hope this helps you on your journey of cock ring discovery, it was certainly a fun challenge for me!

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