It’s time to get down to buttering the muffin – but the right way!
Following on from my massively successful Guide to Spanking and last week’s glorious Ultimate Blowjob Guide plus The Girl’s Guide to Pegging, it was time to get down and dirty with the clam. Like I said before, I want to write guides for trans bodies too, because I know every person’s body is not the same. But this guide is generally for men/women/any gendered person who want’s to indulge in some oral pleasure with a cis-gendered woman.
And if you're more of a visual learner, head to XConfessions now to watch quality porn for women.
Don’t believe the myths
Cunnilingus is no more complicated than your communication skills allow it to be. Speak and you shall find. And remember that for the most part, vaginas are pretty good at keeping themselves clean and delicious!
Tease
Don’t forget that the pussy isn’t the only place you can create pleasure. Get to know each other, touch, kiss, caress the surrounding areas for as long as feels natural. The inner thigh and the skin between the pubis and leg is particularly sensitive.
Want to try some starter toys?
Check out the Secret Bullet Remote Vibe or the Diamond Mini Vibe on my store!
Get them involved
If you want to try something a little different, ask them to lie on their back and slowly start touching themselves. You can even lick their fingers and move them down there if you think they might be a little nervous. Watch them – marvel in the glory and beauty of the person lying in front of you – and then gently start joining in.
Start Slow
When you’re going down, take your time! Although the vagina may resemble a delicious oyster, you don’t want to down this in one. Appreciate the majesty of the vagina for what it is, tease it with some light licking and kissing while you’re working out where everything is. And most importantly pay attention to how your partner responds…
Ask Questions
Don’t forget that pleasure is the purpose! You might feel nervous, but try to concentrate on your partner as much as possible. Ask a couple of questions, find out what they like and don’t like. Communication is key to fabulous sex!
A toy that delivers similar sensations to oral sex? Are you serious?
The Sqweel Go Silicone Toy is worth checking out if you’re still nervous about…
Use your hands, and your nose…
But don’t start crashing around in there like a bull in a china shop, be gentle, read the signs! You might even want to find out if your partner is interested in a little ass play…
Don’t actually eat pussy
Don’t wolf it down like an american apple pie, you’re not actually supposed to eat it. What I mean by this is, having your entire mouth wide open like a carp and making loud slurping noises isn’t helping anyone. It’s all in the detail.
Have a little patience
Often, a sensation only starts to feel super intense after you’ve been doing the same motion for a while. It’s the build up. Try different techniques but give each one it’s proper chance.
Share
Once things start to get a little more juicy, don’t forget to share the glorious bounty. Some people like this and others don’t, but (and this is a general sex tip) having a little cum on your fingers and licking it off together can be extremely hot and intimate. It also shows trust and confidence, both very sexy!
To nibble or not to nibble?
Again, you might want to ask first. Much like sucking, nibbling around the labia and clit can be a huge turn on if done gently. But a little too much and you could turn the heat down completely. Maybe go easy on that one, see what works!
Make noises
Communication is always a great way to have better sex! Moaning and groaning and showing just how excited you are will also give your partner clear signals that you’re experiencing pleasure: and it encourages them to indicate to you what they like and what they don’t. Ask them to tell you when they’re going to come, so you don’t move away from the spot and lose it.
Why not move it up a gear?
Check out the infamous Doxy Massager on my store! And be prepared for screams…
Make eye contact!
Much like blowjobs, eye contact is actually super important! The worst thing you can do is bury your partner under a blanket and let them do all the work without giving anything back. You’re in this together! Make sure you hold that gaze, watch those pupils dilate and share the pleasure!
Don’t fake it
This goes for everyone involved! There’s nothing worse than sensing that your partner isn’t into it. APART FROM not being into it. Always work to find out what you both like, you might have to try a lot of new things and move slightly out of your comfort zones, perhaps look for inspiration in my other guides, but a happy, sex positive attitude is what you’ll end up with!
Let it be the main meal
Oral is sometimes seen merely as foreplay. But don’t be fooled! Some of your greatest orgasms can be achieved through oral. Once in awhile, allow yourself to enjoy the pure majesty of cunnilingus for what it is.
Riding the crimson wave is up to both of you
If you’re on your period, or your partner is, have a conversation about whether you’re cool to engage in some oral anyway. Some things to remember: period blood is totally safe, and totally clean: unless you carry HIV or an STI. Plus, a vagina tends to be more sensitive around that time of the month – which can make for much stronger orgasms. Plus, it’s just really freaking sexy. See my film “Can Vampires Smell My Period?” for evidence.
Helpful? I have several other voices in the industry dying to give you their tips and tricks! Head on over to Erotic Films for:
Pierre Roshan’s Guides Cunnilingus and Fellatio, Yoni and Lingam Massage Part 1 and Part 2
Nico Bertrand’s Nice to Meet You
Joybear’s Sexology: Part 1, The depths of Female Pleasure