Household Goods

In the midst of a seemingly endless cleaning spree, Bishop and Serafina are tired; they've been cleaning their spacious apartment for hours and have nothing to show for it but the sweat on their backs. A playful flick of a towel leads them to a sexy, salsa dance-off, which can only be won by pleasuring themselves competitively with a series of unusual, ridiculous, but safe-for-insertion household objects. Brushes, mops, houseplants, the vacuum cleaner—nothing is sacred as they get each other hotter and hotter, playing with themselves and tantalizing each other. They find the perfect balance of salsa dancing and vacuum-fucking until the doorbell rings; it's a delivery. Serafina returns with a brand-new dildo… which is immediately thrown away as they head into the big dance number that brings them sweating and panting into the living room, ready to celebrate the end of their cleaning day with—and in—each other, until they both come to a finish better than anything they could have choreographed.

If you've ever wondered what it's like to masturbate with household items, this is the movie for you!

Watch Household Goods Now

We created this guide to help you spice up your sex life with masturbation techniques, using household goods and mutual masturbation, not only solo. Mundane and masturbation are two words that should never, ever go together. So whether you’re exploring masturbation for the first time or stuck in a situation with no sex tools, we’ve compiled a list of creative ways for you to enjoy your solo sesh without having to scrounge the internet for hours on end. Are you ready to spice up your self-lovin’? Then let’s begin…

Get wet 💦…under a facet

Back to where we started… For many people with vulvas when discovering their intimate bits for the first time, a facet is typically the first friendly aid. While many different facets and shower heads exist, with the right water pressure and placement the possibilities are endless. If using a tub, the idea is to lie on your back, legs open, feet on the wall, and let the water fall down onto your clitoris. Note: make sure the water temperature is to your liking, no one wants to get burned by accident. Let the water do it’s thing; trust me when I say the sensations it brings are sure to make your vulva sing.

Penis pillow talk

Pillows are comforting, warm, and the perfect household object to rub, hug, and let your member get snug with. Now there’s a few different ways for people with penises to cozy up with a pillow. Start by getting your dry humpin’ on! Simply laying next to a pillow and placing it up against your penis can be sexually gratifying with a hint of nostalgia as you’re reminded of your early sexually curious days. If you want to bump things up get on all fours and place your penis between two pillows, imitating penetration.

Make love with a mirror

This one’s for everyone no matter your genitalia. Using a mirror when masturbating is something we should be doing from the start of our self-love sexploration. Not only does it help us become better acquainted with our sexy parts but it can be a major self-esteem booster! Find a mirror, doesn’t matter the size, and watch as you give yourself pleasure. Want to turn up the heat🔥? Talk dirty…to yourself. Or try positive affirmations and give yourself that sexual confidence we all deserve.

I've got a crush…on my electric toothbrush

Your day is done, you’ve finally made it to bed, and it’s masturbation time! But wait…your vibrator is dead. If you haven’t yet used your electric toothbrush as a makeshift sex toy, it’s most likely at least crossed your mind. Toothbrushes might not have the same power level as your trusty vibrating friend, but they definitely can get the job done. No matter how you typically use your vibrator — against your penis, clitoris, nipples, etc. — as long as you’re using it externally your toothbrush will do the trick. DO NOT use any part of your toothbrush internally! Not only would the bristle side scratch your vagina (ouch!), but infections can be passed from your intimate bits to your mouth and vice versa. So please, play it safe with this one.

Looking for Experimental Masturbation Techniques? Watch Household Goods Now

Work it out! Your vagina that is

You go to the gym, do yoga, or make time for your favourite dancing classes, but what sort of training do you do for your vagina? Kegel exercises are a way of strengthening the pelvic muscles to make orgasms more controlled and powerful for vagina owners, among many other things. There’s a couple ways of doing Kegel exercises. First, find where your pelvic muscles are located, then contract the muscles for 3-5 seconds, relax the same amount of time, then repeat. Once you’ve put in the practice, it’s time to put your muscles to the test! Combine what you’ve learned with other masturbation practices — the movement of the pelvic muscles will increase blood flow to the vaginal walls which can help bring you closer to climax.

Play with your frenulum aka “fun-ulum”

Attention penis owners: If you’re not sure where your frenulum is located, there’s no time like the present to add this erogenous zone to your solo sessions. The frenulum is a small piece of penile tissue that is typically V-shaped just below the head of the penis. For uncircumcised penises, the frenulum connects the foreskin to the penis to protect it. Those with circumcised penises should still have the frenulum but size and sensitivity between circumcised and uncircumcised may vary. Likewise, if you have an uncircumcised penis make sure to take it slow when discovering this new arousal area as you may have a short frenulum, known as frenulum breve, that makes it more likely to tear this sensitive region. Now that you know what it is, it’s playtime. Start with light touches using your finger or thumb. You can also simultaneously let your thumb graze it as you get handy with your member.

Go to a masturbation class 🤓

Yes, they really do exist. I realise not everyone has experience with masturbation and that's perfectly ok! Perhaps you've never heard of the late Betty Dodson and her groundbreaking workshops that taught and encouraged women to masturbate. Well, imagine a circle of people like yourself learning techniques on how to masturbate or heat up their current self-love practice using a "hands-on" methodology. You're touching yourself, they're touching themselves. And all the while you're seeing variation in genitalia and the ways in which people interact with their own — talk about normalising female masturbation!

Looking for Experimental Masturbation Techniques? Watch Household Goods Now