Back to Basics: A Guide to Fingering a Vagina

Fingering often gets a bad reputation. People tend to think of it as a teenage act and most of us have awkward memories of someone fumbling around in our pants in the back of a car or in a movie theatre. The sex act isn’t held in high regards by many people which means that it can end up being a quick step that is fumbled through quickly before moving on to oral sex or penetration. But we need to put a stop to this. Fingering is a lost art and it’s time to restore it to it’s former glory!

Fingering doesn’t have to be foreplay, it can be the main event. If you take your time to really pleasure your partner with your fingers it can be a very intimate and rewarding experience. So, here are my tips on how to finger a vagina. But remember that all vaginas are different so there is not one way to finger. Everyone needs something a little different and techniques may vary from person to person, so please don’t think you have one good fingering routine and use it on every partner you have! Netflix series Sex Education captures this perfectly when teenage protagonist Otis tries fingering for the first time with a supposedly fool-proof “clock technique” he finds on the internet… let’s just say it doesn’t exactly deliver the results he is hoping for. So, with that being said, please use this guide as a list of insights to help you on your fingering journey.

Ok now listen up and let’s start this wonderful voyage into the art of fingering!

And when you're done, maybe give yourself or your partner some finger love while enjoying one of my porn for women films!

Hand Hygiene

OK this first point is very important! Seems simple right? Well you’d be surprised at how many people forget about hand hygiene before fingering someone! You must wash and groom your hands before you go anywhere near a vagina. The vagina is a very chemically sensitive part of the body and you need to be careful about what you stick in and around it. Remove nail polish and keep your fingers filed and trimmed to make sure you don’t scratch them. You can run your nails over your lips to make sure they’re completely smooth, then wash and moisturise before getting down to business! If you’re still in doubt you can always wear latex gloves – they may look a little clinical but they smooth out the surface of your fingers keeping fingernails and calluses at bay.

Tease!

Before you go near your partner’s vulva you should spend plenty of time warming up. Use this time to make out, kiss their neck, nibble their ears, stroke their stomach, caress their butt… The more anticipation that’s built up before touching their vagina, the more aroused they become.

Start slow

When their pants are off you still need to go slow. Please don’t jump straight into jackhammering your fingers into the vagina straight away – this is the kind of fingering that leads a lot of people to not enjoy it. There is no need to mimic penis in vagina sex here!

Start with gentle strokes on the vulva. You can touch the outer and inner labia but be gentle. Warm your partner up and tease them before you go near the vaginal opening. If you feel that your partner is getting wet you can use your finger to gently move their wetness from the inside of the vagina to the rest of the vulva and the clitoris. You can also put your fingers in their mouth to get some saliva and make it even wetter. Extra hot points if you maintain eye contact while you do it ?

The Holy Grail: The one, the only, The Clitoris

A lot of people with vaginas are only able to reach orgasm from direct stimulation of the clitoris, so please do not ignore this wonderful organ!

Start off with gentle strokes until you get a sense of how much stimulation your partner likes. You may have seen in a lot of porn films women getting rubbed on their clitoris with a hard and fast motion, but this speed and pressure does not feel good for everyone and can actually be very painful. The clit is protected by a little hood of skin, you should focus on rubbing this as touching the clit directly can sometimes be quite painful. Most people with vulvas need repetitive, consistent clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm so once you find a rhythm that your partner likes try to stick with it as they get closer to climax.

The Vagina

If your partner wants to be penetrated by your fingers, once you’ve warmed them up you can move towards the vaginal opening. Start by tracing your finger around the opening before moving inside, there are a bunch of nerve endings here so it can feel pleasurable for the receiver plus it teases them a bit more.

During fingering people usually want either direct stimulation of the front wall of the vagina, in which case you can use the “come-hither” motion to stimulate it, or they want a feeling of fullness, in which case you can use deeper stroke in a more linear movement. You can ask your partner which they prefer. And remember that internal and external stimulation are not mutually exclusive. If one hand is inside the vagina, the other can be caressing the vulva or massaging the clitoris.

Communicate!

Different people like different things so as always communication is key. Ask your partner what they like and what feels good. Remember that if something was well received with another partner, it won’t necessarily feel good for this person. Similarly, what felt good for your partner last time, might not feel good for them today. Be sure to ask questions like “faster or slower?” or “higher or lower?” to get useful information to make your partner’s pleasure even better. Steer clear from questions like “are you close” or “did you cum?”.

Take Your Time

The best thing you can do to ensure your partner has a good time is to make them feel as relaxed as possible and reassure them that there is no rush. Tell them how much you enjoy giving them pleasure and that there is no pressure for them to reach orgasm, then enjoy the journey together.

Extras!

Lube! Toys! Your other hand! ?

You’d be surprised at what difference these small additions can make. Adding lube will help you move around the vulva and slip into the vagina with less friction. Natural vaginal lubrication doesn’t always last a very long time, so with a little bit of lube your partner will be thankful for the extra wetness and the smooth and silky texture. Remember that you have two hands. If you’re able to, you can use the other hand to play with their hair or to caress other parts of their body.

Finally, TOYS! Need I say anything else? If your partner likes toys you can try incorporating one into your routine. A vibrator or a dildo can add new sensations and give even more pleasure to your partner. Plus if you put a toy inside your partner you can focus on the labia and clitoris, while a vibrator on the clitoris means you can focus on the vagina. Remember toys aren’t competition, they’re aids! It’s all about teamwork.

So, there you have it! Those are my top tips for a super hot and pleasurable fingering session, but the bottom line is that the best lovers aren’t ones who have a secret technique, they’re the ones who make their partner feel the most comfortable and check in for feedback.

If you liked my guide to fingering a vagina, make sure you check out my other Lust Guides to the XConfessions App & comment below to suggest what I should cover next time!

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