10 New Year Sex Resolutions to Care for Your Erotic Self in 2022

As 2022 comes to a close, you may be thinking about setting some new year resolutions. For many people these usually focus on exercising more, eating healthier, drinking less, watching more porn for women 😉… you know the drill. But what about some resolutions for our erotic selves? Our sexual wellbeing is just as important as our health, and sitting down to evaluate the sex and intimacy that you have is an important task. Of course, it’s always good to sit down and think about what you want, not just in January. So why not evaluate your sex life – whether it’s solo, or with a partner – every month or two?

Here are 10 sex resolutions that I would recommend for a pleasurable erotic life this year.

1. Schedule sexual self care

This could be starting your day with an orgasm, practicing mindful masturbation, scheduling some play time with your favourite toys, giving yourself a sensual massage, or even the less sexy self care of taking yourself for an STI test. Whatever it is and whether it’s every day, week, or month - schedule it and stick to it.

2. Seduce yourself

Engage in a romantic relationship with yourself. Light candles, wear nice underwear, put on sexy music, cook yourself a nice meal. When you’re masturbating, take time touching yourself and don’t race to an orgasm, take your time.

3. Learn

Try some reading and educate yourself about sexuality. This could mean reading important books about sex and sexuality, watching TEDx talks, reading erotic fiction, or even just watching documentaries about sex. You'll know what interests you the most.

Here are some of my recommendations to get you started:

• Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
• The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
• The Keys to a Happier Healthier Sex Life Tedx Talk by Emily Nagoski
• Reclaiming Female Sexual Desire by Pamela Joy
• Three Women by Lisa Taddeo
• Sex, Explained on Netflix

4. Try something new

Have you felt intrigued by something but haven’t tried it yet? Use 2021 as an opportunity to experiment with something you've always been curious about. Whether it’s anal play or squirting, the internet is full of sex guides and explainers so that you can find out more about it before trying.

5. Think about what you like & talk about it

Think about the things that you enjoy when having sex, and if you have a partner tell them. Similarly ask your partner what they like. It’s never too late to have this conversation, communication makes for even better sex!

6. Upgrade your bedroom

Your bedroom should be used for sex and sleep. Does your bedroom feel like a sexy place right now? If not, it’s time to make some changes. Get the right lighting, add some candles, make sure you have nice clean sheets on your bed, and get rid of any distracting clutter.

7. Different time, different place

Whether it’s solo or partnered, have sex at a different time and in a different place to normal. Mix things up so your routine feels new and exciting.

8. Write down your fantasies

Even if you don’t have any desire to act them out, take pen to paper and write down your erotic fantasies. You’ll get to know yourself and your desires better, and you may just turn yourself on during the process.

And, if you want the opportunity to see your fantasy turned into reality, then you can send it to me at XConfessions and we might turn your confession into our next screenplay!

9. Appreciate your body

Most of us are far too harsh on our bodies, nitpicking things we'd like to change and obsessing over parts we don't like. Why not try and use this year to become comfortable in your skin and accepting of your body. Write a list of all of the things you like about yourself and your body. This can be personality traits, physical aspects, or even just things that your body can do that you're grateful for. You could also try taking some sexy snaps that you keep just for yourself.

10. Last but not least…. Don’t. Fake. Orgasms!

Faking it, instead of telling your partner what actually might feel better, can stop you from experiencing pleasure in bed and cause communication problems between you and your partner. The orgasm shouldn't be the end goal of sex, but if you're not enjoying yourself it's perfectly ok to say stop.