XConfessions App Guide to Safer Solo, Partnered & Group Sex

It’s sexual health month so this week’s XConfessions App guide is focused on how to have safe sex whether you’re having it alone, with a partner or in a group.

This guide focuses on being safe sexually, but not necessarily emotionally. As always, all sex should be done in an emotionally safe way with clear consent, boundaries and constant communication. Most unsafe sex practices come down to a lack of clear communication about sex, so when it comes to safer-sex the most important thing is to communicate.

Although solo sex is just about as safe as sex gets–no STIs & no unwanted pregnancy for people with ovaries–safe sex is still important to avoid getting an unwanted infection.

First things first, anytime you’re touching your pleasure parts you must wash your hands before and after. If you’re using sex toys, be sure to wash them after using them & keep them in a cool, dry, clean place so that they’re ready for your next use. And remember that anything that goes in your anus never goes in your vagina.

Also, if you’re using toys be sure to opt for a body-safe material. Silicone, stainless steel and glass are your best bets. Other materials like silicone blends or jelly can contain toxic materials like phthalates that could lead to negative reactions.

Unless you’re fluid bonded with the person you’re having sex with you should always use some form of protection, especially if you’re having sex with different people at different times.

To start, you and your partner should always wash your hands, genitals and mouth before and after sex.

For penetrative sex with a penis you should use a condom (check out my guide to condoms here). You should also use condoms on dildos, strap ons and butt plugs if they are shared / used by more than one person.

A condom is going to help protect you against unwanted pregnancies if ovaries are involved, and against STIs that are transmitted through sexual fluids. However, STIs that are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact like genital herpes and HPV are harder to protect yourself from completely.

It can be a good idea to visually examine your own and your partner’s genitals before having sex to look for signs for genital warts, herpes or other signs of infection.

And of course it’s a good idea to get tested for STIs regularly, especially if you’re having sex with multiple partners, and to ask for the STI status of your lover/s. Regular testing is usually done every three to six months and you should always get checked after having sex without protection of if you can’t remember if you used safe sex precautions.

For oral sex, you should use a dental dam to reduce the risk of contracting an STI. Top tip: If you don’t have a dental dam you can just cut a condom open.

Finally, for manual penetration with your hands, use latex gloves.

And if one of you has a vagina, never go from anal to vaginal play without throughly washing the penis, fingers or toy being used (with soap!) before. For vagina owners, remember to pee after sex to avoid urinary tract infections!

If you’re having sex with more than one person at the same time, or trading partners, it’s really important to practice safe sex. Naturally when you bring more partners into play, the more you increase your risk of STIs. However, people in every type of relationship style make bad sexual health decisions sometimes so whether you’re single, poly, swinging or open, you must protect yourself.

If it is a pre-organised party you can ask people when they were last tested for STIs, or you can ask that everyone shows paperwork from their last test.

If you’re going to be having penetrative sex, you must change condoms between each partner. This also applies for gloves and dental dams.

The easiest thing to do during group sex is to keep a big bowl of condoms, dental dams, latex gloves and small packets of lube in an easily accessible place in the room.

Finally, if there are a lot of bodily fluids, such as squirt, you should also shower in between each partner.

The main thing to remember, no matter what type of sex you’re having, is that if you are exposed to an STI or get a positive test result that you communicate clearly and fully with everyone you have had sex with since the exposure or your last positive test. There is no shame in having an STI, the number one priority is to take responsibility for it and take steps to avoid it happening again.

The XConfessions App is a sexual fantasy game for couples who want to discover some new kinks and spice things up in their sex life.

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