What is Edging? The Lust Guide to Orgasm Control

If you wanna last longer in bed or potentially experience more intense orgasms, it’s time to try edging.

Otherwise known as orgasm denial, edging is an orgasm control technique where you take yourself or your partner to the brink of orgasm, stop/slow down stimulation before the orgasm is reached, wait a few seconds and then build the sexual energy back up to approach the orgasm again.

You can do it as many times and for as long as you like, and you may just find it gives you a more dramatic, full body orgasm. Plus everything feels so much better when it isn’t given to you straight away.

Edging is used by some people to make sex last longer, especially for people with penises to get a better control of their ejaculation.

For other people it’s used to give a stronger & more intense orgasm. By coming close to the brink of an orgasm and continually building up the sensations you might find that your orgasm is more powerful—the contractions may be stronger, the pleasure might be deeper, it might last longer, and the sensation might move out of your groin and into your whole body.

Aside from this, if you’re doing it with your partner it can improve communication between you as you let the other person know how close you are to orgasm using either words or body language. It lets you/your partner learn more about your sexual triggers and what feels good for your body.

Alone

As always it’s good to practice new things by yourself before you do them with a trusted partner. You can start by practicing edging during masturbation, to give you some time to get used to it and figure out what techniques work best for your body.

Stop & start

Try the start-stop method of simply stopping the stimulation just before climax, waiting, and then starting again after a few seconds.

Edging is a precise science and you need to try and move as close as you can to climax without having your body fall off the edge to complete pleasure. But remember that the worst that can happen is an orgasm, so it’s not all bad if it takes a few failed attempts.

Toys, toys, toys

If you have a vulva and you’re using a clit stimulating toy, you can try turning it off right before you orgasm, waiting a few seconds until you feel a bit calmer and then start again. Prepare yourself for a body shaking orgasm!

Squeeze method

It sounds a bit strange but the squeeze method is a tried and tested technique for people with penises. If you’re doing it on a partner, take them close to the edge, then when they are about to orgasm, stop and squeeze the tip of the penis for about 30 seconds, and then starting the build-up once again.

Repeat until they can’t take it anymore…

Kegels

Your kegels are the muscles you engage if you want to stop peeing mid-stream, and engaging them works to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and help increase orgasm control.

Everyone can use them but you should do exercises regularly to achieve and maintain the benefits. Practice engaging them by contracting them for a few seconds and then slowly releasing them.

The idea is that if you strengthen your kegels, an internal squeeze during masturbation or sex can potentially stop orgasm or ejaculation.

Just breathe!

If you start feeling like you are getting close to orgasm, bring your attention to your breath. Try taking long deep breaths and you may find that the relaxed & conscious breathing will slow your arousal down and delay your orgasm.

Similarly if you want to come, try speeding your breath up to bring on the orgasm.

Edging & BDSM

Some people like to use edging as a control method and it is often used as part of power play in BDSM. As it doesn’t involve any pain or accessories, it can be a really great place for beginners to start exploring power exchanges in the bedroom.

The person being the dominant figure can dictate to their bottom that they are only allowed to orgasm with their permission. Or, the dominant partner may keep the submissive on the edge of orgasm until they perform certain sexual acts or do what they’re told.

However you practice it, edging is a fun and accessible kink to bring into the bedroom either by yourself or with a partner which will hopefully bring you some intense orgasms and a longer pleasure experience.