Learn How to Cycle Sync Your Period for Hotter Sex

In case you weren’t already aware, your period is your monthly report card. It tells you how you’re doing hormonally, how you’re keeping up in the wellness/lifestyle department, how you’re doing on the nutrition front, and how you’re managing stress (pleasure helps with this one). But, what happens before the bleed is equally as important to watch.

Let me premise this by saying that if you are on the pill, (1) I don’t judge you—there is no right and wrong way to do life, we all have different extenuating circumstances and (2) the pill prohibits the body from ovulating, so unfortunately, it’s not possible to cycle sync while on hormonal birth control as your body is not preparing to attempt to conceive every month. That said, you can still familiarize yourself with the week-to-week ebb and flow of a cycle and gain an understanding of how your body might function if and when you do decide to come off hormonal birth control (please consult your doctor first and make sure you are properly supporting your body through the shift—if you’re interested in learning more about my experience, it can be found on my blog).

Now back to the hot stuff…well, actually what I really want to focus on is the wet stuff…the WAP stuff. Are you hooked yet? Okay good. Because what I’m about to say might blow your mind a little—your wetness is not directly correlated with how turned on you are. I repeat—your wetness isn’t always correlated with, nor is it always reliant on, how turned on you are. So please drop that programming from your mind and stock that bedside table with some lube.

The 411 on your cycle if you’re not familiar:

Most of us didn’t learn this in school (though we totally should have), so if you’re not savvy here yet, no worries. What matters is that you’re reading.

Our cycles are made up of four phases—

• Our bleed marks day one. It’s nice to think of this phase of our cycle as “the winter."
• The day we finish bleeding marks the start of our follicular phase or “spring.”
• Then, we approach ovulation or the spicy, wild days of “summer.”
• Post ovulation, we enter our luteal phase, which we can consider our “autumn.”

…it all begins again back at winter aka with our bleed.

Now, let’s dive into what’s going on in the vulva throughout those seasons. Keep in mind all bodies differ, what’s most important is that you pay attention to your own body, your own patterns, and tap into your own rhythm of wetness.

That said, here’s the general idea of what’s going on:

As we enter our follicular phase, our bleed goes away and we enter our yang/go-getter time of the month. This “season” of your cycle can be thought of as the spring after the winter. You’re likely feeling sexier and more like yourself after the hibernation—you may be holding less water weight and be feeling amazing in lingerie…and you quite possibly might need an extra couple drops of lube. Remember, this is normal and sex should always feel good.

Near the end of our follicular phase, as vulva holders, we create noticeably different cervical mucus. Over the span of a few days, it can go from being sticky to creamy to resembling an egg white fluid. This is when you’re more likely to experience WAP, if you will. Your body is literally priming itself to conceive. The more stretchy, slippery, and liquid-like that fluid is, the more likely a little sperm friend will have a shot meeting and greeting with your dropping egg. If you are not TTC (trying to conceive) please watch for ovulation signals (can be easily done with BBT—basal body temping—and graphing) and use a barrier method when you are fertile. After ovulation, or play time on the slip n’ slide of summer, comes our luteal phase. This is when we slow down, go inward, and likely lose some of that internal moisture as our vulvas prepare to shed and go back into their “winter” phase.

So, how do you communicate this with a partner?

Show them a period tracking app, share what day you’re on and how you’re feeling, and explain the rhythm of your cycle. Truthfully, it will empower not just you, but them, too. It will shift any sort of feelings of undesirability that sometimes may loom when they realize you’re not as wet as other days and they will also have a clue into what will turn you on most during that specific romp session. Like I said—win, win.

What this looks like IRL:

For me personally, I feel more exploratory during my follicular phase. This is a time of the month where if I have new toys or lube to test, I whip them out. Around ovulation my pheromones are pumping and regardless of keeping track of the day, my partner knows it. He can feel it, he can smell it, and I have a habit of jumping his bones when I walk through the door at this point in my cycle. I don’t hide it, primal instincts are hot, right? Answer is yes.

In my luteal phase I like to slow down the tempo and get cozy. Sometimes that looks like no penetrative sex. The definition of sex changes from person to person and quite honestly for me changes pending what phase of my cycle I’m in. As I get closer to my bleed, my nipples are more sensitive, my body feels softer, a slow, steady spoon-type movement feels hotter than a backwards cow girl complete with spanks, some bites, and a drool worthy make-out sesh. But, to each their own!

Let this post empower you to tap into your cycle. To listen to what your body needs. And most importantly, to feel safe and supported communicating that to a partner so everyone can have hotter, wetter, better sex.

Jenna is a cosmic love and wellness writer aka the lady behind @nowheylady, as well as an energy healer, holistic nutrition consultant, kundalini practitioner, and divine femininity coach. She thrives day-to-day with multiple food allergies, sensitivities, and chronic disease and shares her personal experiences with literally everything from navigating modern dating and relationships, to post-pill hormone balance, to the gut and brain connection, to her spiritual and sexual journeys, and healthy recipes between it all to keep the body glowing from the inside out. You can find her on nowheylady.com or book a healing or coaching session with her here.