How to Make Your Masturbation Kinky (& free movie!)

Masturbation is slowly but surely making its way out of a cultural taboo. We now know masturbation is good for us. It can relieve stress, improve sleep, and even boost your immunities! We’re talking about masturbation more than ever, there’s even a whole month dedicated to diddling ourselves. Despite this, many of us still masturbate the same way since we first discovered its joys. There are plenty of ways to change up your masturbation routine, listen to audio erotica, use the other hand, attend an online masturbation workshop, or if we feel so emboldened to share tips with our friends. Did you know that you can kinkify your masturbation, too?

Masturbation is familiar to most, which makes it a perfect starting place even for those dipping their toes into kink.

Bonus: whether you’re social distancing or keeping the spark alive with long-distance love, any of these practices can be used when face-to-face isn’t an option.

Masturbation puppetry

What it is? One partner will instruct the other how to touch themselves using only their words. The hands of the person masturbating go in control of their partner. They are acting as their puppet, though moved by words, not strings. This requires communication skills and can strengthen the bond and understanding between partners and an incredible opportunity to learn both each other's bodies as well as your own through another's eyes.

Why this is appealing? Those who struggle to get out of their heads during a sex act will find handing over the masturbation reigns relieving. There is an element of the unknown since you do not know where your hand will be directed next. Inviting a new set of eyes and ears may introduce you to patterns of touch you would have never tried on your own. Plus, consent is easily applied to this scenario. Don’t want to do something with your hand? It’s your hand, so don’t do it!

Orgasm denial/control:

What it is? Orgasm control ranges in intensity pending the individual. This can manifest as cumming restriction, where one partner has to ask the other for permission to orgasm—which can be granted or denied. Cumming instructions are an option on the other side of the orgasm control pendulum. Instead of focusing on permission to orgasm, the top can drop in unannounced or within specified times to instruct the frequency, location, type, or other elements of their wank.

Why it is appealing? The saying ‘you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone’ comes to mind for this kink. Building parameters and giving up control can make certain acts more arousing. The dependency on another person makes this typically solo act a two-person experience. When engaging with denial specifically, this mimics an edging experience where one gets ever-so-close to orgasm, before they stop. Rinse and repeat. Edging is a practice that can lead to more satisfying orgasms. Though, the appeal of denial is not always physical, but mental. When this denial is continuous and the release minimal, some enjoy the feeling of desperation, deprivation, and loss of control. It is not for everyone, but for those who enjoy this mental sensation—there’s nothing else like it.

Advanced level orgasm denial
Want to take the control even further? Experiment with a chastity device. There are even versions accessible by an app so you can engage in long-distance play without sacrificing any of the fun.

How do you want to feel?

Does the idea of adding kink to your masturbation sound exciting, but you’re not sure where to start? With any kink, while an activity provides some information, it is our desired feeling(s) that give the most context. Do you want to feel desperate? Adored? That you did a good job? Anything more than ‘turned on’ or ‘horny’ can influence both how you go about an activity and what kink activity you do! Communicate these feelings to your partner if they have a better idea of how to gear their instruction.

What if I want to do this but I don’t have a partner?

You can always top yourself! Record the instructions using a voice note on your phone. Play it back to yourself a few days later, you’ll likely forget what it was you instructed yourself to do by then so it will feel like an entirely new game! There’s no reason you can’t apply cumming restrictions or instructions to yourself. It’s up to you if you’ll be obedient or not.

⚠ No kink-shaming ⚠

Most importantly, if you don’t want to engage in someone else’s kinky masturbation you can politely decline without putting them or their kink down in the process. Everything is not for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s not for anyone. If a desire is rejected, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are rejecting us. A large part of removing our own shame—even masturbation shame—is curbing the shame we project onto others. Accepting others' kinks does not mean we have to engage in them ourselves. If you’re the kinky one, you can also express a desire without asking someone to fulfill it. Before you start worrying about what is wrong with you, (nothing is wrong with you) remember that while much of kink is psychologically based, our kinks don’t always have a deep meaning. There are plenty of reasons we are drawn to certain activities. So long as they are explored safely, sanely, and consensually—the world is your oyster. And we all know what oysters look like.

Did someone say kinky freebie? Go to Lust Cinema now to watch episode 2 of Lust Cinema Original series Safe Word for free and learn some more kinky masturbation ideas from the expert Mona Wales! As she gets inspired watching some BDSM porn she experiments with sensory-, temperature-, and edge-play.

Safe Word is a cinematic, kinky adult series directed by Erika Lust that follows Mona Wales as she embarks on an unexpected journey into the world of BDSM. If you haven't seen episode 1 yet you can watch it for free here.

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