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Prostate Milking: The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Massage

Prostate Milking: The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Massage

Erika Lust | April 02, 2020 | 6 min. read

Whether you call it prostate massage, milking, hitting that p-spot, or just plain old bum stuff, the prostate is an internal pleasure spot that can give very intense results if you touch it just right. Anyone with a prostate can enjoy this stimulation and many penis owners report that a prostate orgasm involves the entire body instead of just the groin with the pleasurable feeling lasting much longer than an “ordinary” orgasm. Not everyone ejaculates during a prostate orgasm, but some release a dribble of milky fluid from the urethra which is why a prostate massage is sometimes called milking. Sound tempting?

If you’re ready to explore this new and exciting pleasure zone read on for my top tips.

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First things first, what is the prostate?

Only people with penises have prostates, and it is a gland located between the bladder and the root of the penis. It produces the seminal fluid found in ejaculate and helps propel semen from the penis. The prostate is surrounded by nerve endings which is why it can feel amazing when touched just right.

Where can I find this wonderful thing?

The prostate is reached via the anus and is located about two inches inside the rectum on the front wall of the body. It may feel like a small fleshy bulb of tissue and it tends to swell with arousal. It will feel different from the other tissue in there and it’s often described as being roughly the size of a walnut. Although entering through the anus is the most direct way to stimulate the prostate, you can also stimulate it indirectly through the perineum (the region between the anus and the testicles).

How to give a prostate massage…

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As always consent & communication are key. Make sure you speak with your partner about prostate stimulation before doing it to make sure you both want to try it and you’re on the same page. Once you’ve decided to try prostate massage and you’re both ready to go, it’s important to set the tone from the very beginning for lots of open communication. If you’re the giver you need to check in with your partner each time you try something to see how it feels for them. Be ready to ask questions like “faster or slower?” and “harder or softer?” to fine tune what works. If you’re the receiver, let your partner know that you’ll be guiding them and giving them feedback. Try to speak in specifics like “left or right” and “harder or softer” rather than just saying something is OK.

Before you start: Preparation

If you’re the receiving partner you’ll want to be as relaxed as possible to have the best experience possible. Consider starting with a bath or shower to relax and to address any concerns you may have about hygiene. You’ll also want to ensure you’ve emptied your bowels. Anal penetration can cause the sensation of needing to poop, and even though you wont actually poop, your worrying might interfere with being able to relax and enjoy yourself. So knowing that you’ve emptied your bowels prior to the massage can help you forget about this.

If you’re the giver you must ensure your nails are cut and filed to avoid scratching the delicate skin in the anus. Wash your hands thoroughly or wear gloves to ensure the most hygienic and pleasurable experience. Gloves not only provide protection but also smooth out any ridges or bumps on your fingers making it easier to glide into your partners anus. Then be sure to lube up well. The anus doesn’t create any lubrication so it’s important to use lots of lube to allow for easier and more comfortable penetration.

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Warm up

As always, don’t just dive straight in! Start with some kissing, foreplay and a perineum massage to arouse and relax your partner before you get started.

Fingering techniques

When using fingers on yourself or on your partner, use the pads of your fingers rather than your fingertips. This will help avoid any poking sensations, and also helps keep you safe from those pesky fingernails. Once you’re lubed up you should start by massaging the outside of the anus before gradually putting one or two fingers inside once your partner is ready. Then try one of these techniques:

Come Hither – Enter your lubed finger and curl the top of it, just like people do when they are trying to touch the g-spot. Then use a “come here” motion towards the belly button and keep repeating the motion while gradually increasing your speed as the pleasure builds.

Circular motion – Use the pad of your finger and run it all around the prostate, circling your way around the entire perimeter of the gland. Change up the pressure and speed and continue with the combo that feels best, allowing the pleasure to build up.

PS: don’t forget the penis! Stroking the penis at the same time can take it to another level of pleasure.


When you’re ready for a little more than fingers, there are several toys designed specifically for prostate stimulation. You want to look for something that is on the smaller side and has a curve that will fit the shape of your body. Once you have some toys, you can mix it up by playing with different settings, vibrations, sizes, shapes. You should try to focus on using the toy with a pivoting motion as opposed to thrusting.

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Anal play may not be everyone’s bag and it can take a little getting used to, but if you’re willing to give it a try some people report the most intense orgasms of their life from prostate play. Once you get the hang of prostate stimulation, it can become a regular part of your sexual repertoire.

So, what do you think? Did I miss anything that you know gives great results? Let me know in the comments! Make sure you check out my other Lust Guides to the XConfessions App & if you haven’t played the XConfessions App yet you can download it here.


The XConfessions App is a sexual fantasy game for couples who want to discover some new kinks and spice things up in their sex life.

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Erika Lust is an award-winning filmmaker, producer, and writer who's focus on female pleasure, cinematic values, and ethics in adult cinema have helped to change how pornography is consumed. Erika Lust Films was born in 2004 and since then Erika has ... Read More
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