Lust Stories

Lust Stories: Your COVID-19 Dating Stories

Lust Stories: Your COVID-19 Dating Stories

Three people from around the world share their intimate stories
Erika Lust | November 23, 2020 | 8 min. read

Dating can be tough at the best of times, add COVID-19 and worldwide lockdowns into the mix and it's bound to be even harder. I asked you to share your stories about what it’s like dating — or trying to date — in the middle of a pandemic. From a polyamorous kinky swinger in Australia, to someone who went through a breakup two days before lockdown started in London, here is a collection of love stories from the time of coronavirus…

Also if you haven't watched my adult documentary Sex & Love in the Time of Quarantine yet, it's available for everyone to watch for free here!

Polyamorous Kinky Swinger: Kirsten, 58, Melbourne

Self portrait of Kristen

What is your COVID 19 dating situation?

I suppose my dating life could be categorised as non monogamous, solo poly, free spirit, kink friendly, swinger - with some intense relationships as well.

I generally don't date people my age – especially not patriarchal, patronising and judgemental ones. I am fit and energetic and very surprised to be having such an incredible and wild time in my late fifties. The pandemic has certainly curtailed this.

How has the pandemic affected your sex life?

We have had two lockdowns in Melbourne, the second being far more restrictive and for a few months so dating has become somewhat of a challenge.

In March with the first "wave" I immediately thought "no more parties" and best to only see current partners if anyone at all. We were able to see an intimate partner if they lived elsewhere but having more than one brought up other considerations, especially if you were not a primary partner.

I settled on one person mostly. Was very hesitant at first as I have a vulnerable person in my house and was thinking about them. As the restrictions eased the thought of new dates seemed possible and I did meet some new people in June.

I also attended virtual sex parties and had quite a few virtual dates with people all over the world, as well as with a couple of my dates here ( sexy dates and drinks dates) I would also dress up and wear lovely lingerie as if I was going on an actual date.

The second lockdown here was more serious and lengthy. It was very restrictive including being only allowed to travel five kilometres from your home for eight weeks My mood changed considerably and I didn't catch up with many people at all. We are only coming out of this and I am sticking to my long standing partners and I am not actively meeting any one new.

I'm taking it slowly and appreciating the relationships I already have. Not that I took them for granted but there is nothing like a raging deadly virus to put things in to perspective.

"I attended virtual sex parties and had quite a few virtual dates with people all over the world"

Did you explore your sexuality alone during the pandemic?

Self love is always on the agenda and I did buy a lot of different toys online to spice things up a bit. I also took quite a few nude selfies, mostly for my own amusement.

Do you think it’s changed how people relate to each other? If you have met anyone since, do dates feel different?

With restrictions eased and the virus still out there I am definitely more cautious with whom I meet and as I’m not in any hurry to change this.

My sex life is slowly getting back to pre pandemic times but I'm far more selective, and in no rush to go to parties of any kind at the moment.

Let's see what 2021 brings - the pandemic has certainly made an impact on the way we relate to each other and what is really important to us. I am very grateful to be healthy, and have supportive friends and family.

Newly Single: Ayesha, 27, London

Ayesha in London

What is your dating situation?

I came out of a loving and wholesome 8 year relationship two days before lockdown 1.0 and I was apprehensive about having to endure performative, exploitative sex with people who didn’t respect me. However, during the narrow window where dating was allowed, I experienced extremely positive casual dating with both men and women and I am grateful for the first few months of being on my own and being able to explore my sexuality alone.

"Having this time to learn exactly what I like has prevented me from having to endure mundane and performative sexual encounters"

How have you explored your sexuality alone during the pandemic?

Solo sex is great. There are no expectations and it's been liberating to concentrate solely on my wants and needs. I’ve discovered kinks such as edging that have led me into the world of sub/dom roles with partners, and I have read books (Carnal Knowledge by Zoë Ligon is a must!) and blogs that have taught me that no one is ‘broken'. I recently learnt that 75% of people with vaginas don’t climax from penetration alone (thanks for that one, Erika!), which is an outstanding statistic considering many people still view sex as an exclusively penetrative act. Sex is still so horribly male-dominated and having this time to learn exactly what I like has prevented me from having to endure mundane and performative sexual encounters.

What have you learnt from the experience?

That you’ve got to do you.

The New Relationship: Arianna, 21, Italy

Stickers made for Arianna's girlfriend during lockdown

What is your COVID-19 dating situation?

I'm one of those unlucky lovers of the 21st century who found themselves living a beautiful, perfect, soon-to-be-married, locked down plus long distance relationship.

I met her a few months before everything happened. We decided almost straight away we were made for each other and at the beginning of the new year, when COVID was still just something we heard casually on the news, we made it official. We started organising our meetings and tried to do everything possible to see each other at least two or three times a month since we live far away from each other.

How did you manage a new relationship over lockdown?

The situation was drastic, Italy was the first European country to be infected by the virus, and we were conscious a lockdown was necessary. But we never let distance affect our newborn story, that we like to call affectionately our "baby".

Every day we woke up greeting each other with a good morning text, and stayed connected all day; she would write me love letters and long sweet poems full of hopes and promises, and I would draw her doodles and short comic stripes of our future life to brighten her day. At night, we would stay up late and talk about what we will do once we could get back together, travelling together, cooking together, sleeping and waking up next to each other.

"We had to face the embarrassment of meeting again, we were shy almost as if it was the first time!"

During the summer, we could finally meet again and managed to spend some quality time together. We had to face the embarrassment of meeting again, we were shy almost as if it was the first time! The pandemic felt like it was just a nightmare belonging to the past and it seemed everything was going to be alright…okay, I may have jumped the gun. Because now we're in the same situation as before, just ten times worse. We may not be able to meet for weeks or even months and even though I'm more than certain I'm going to marry my sweetheart as soon as I can, I can't hide I'm scared. What if she gets tired of not being able to see me more often? That's my worst fear and also the dumbest. When she talks to me I can say for sure it won't ever happen. And I hope it's the same for her.

Do you think the pandemic has changed your relationship? If so, how?

I don't know if I can tell the difference between dating my girlfriend and dating my girlfriend during a global pandemic since it has always been the same thing, but surely it has affected our relationship in both positive and negative ways. We argue more often, we're much more stressed, tired and sensitive (that's me!), but we easily come to the conclusion that our fights are just the results of missing each other along with difficulties we're going through. Luckily, communication and support are our key words in our relationship… even if communicating can be hard when we give totally different meaning to a single emoji!

This situation made us understand that there's basically NOTHING we can't get through if we stay together, talk, support and love each other like we always have done since the first day.

However, being an unlucky lover of the 21st century isn't so bad with her!

So, what's your pandemic dating situation? Tell me all in the comments & remember you can watch Sex & Love in the Time of Quarantine for free here!

Erika Lust is an award-winning filmmaker, producer, and writer who's focus on female pleasure, cinematic values, and ethics in adult cinema have helped to change how pornography is consumed. Erika Lust Films was born in 2004 and since then Erika has ... Read More
Share this
I agree to the terms and conditions and give consent to receive Erika Lust’s newsletter with a free adult movie.



Masturbating with a Vagina: 10 Tips & Tricks for Solo Sex


My Lusty Quarantine: One month of Free Sex Ed!


An Erotic Guide to Quarantine: Connect with Your Sexual Side


Lust Stories: 4 Couples in Ethical Non-Monogamous Relationships

Want more?
Get a free movie.

Subscribe to our newsletter to get
a free film by Erika Lust & receive
exclusive updates from Lust Zine.

I agree to the terms and conditions