The festive season isn’t usually complete without some hook up stories. Oh you know the ones… At the office party, in a bar after festive drinks with friends or maybe the questionable one with an old flame when you go home for the holidays.
Well, it’s no surprise that there are significantly less chances to hook up this year as most of us can’t go to Christmas parties or out to bars, but I don’t want that to stop us from celebrating the joy of a festive hook up. So, I reached out to you all on Instagram and asked you to share your funniest, most embarrassing, or naughtiest holiday hookup stories.
Because what good are these stories if we don’t share them with the world?
Every year, I travel 600km to spend Christmas with my grandma in a little town where I don't know anyone. A bit tipsy and hot because of the alcohol, I decide to go for a walk when my family falls asleep. I hear a couple of women laughing and making some drinks. As I’m spying on them, a male neighbor passes by and smiles at me. He then knocks on the couple's door with a bottle of wine and apparently gives me away because the women then come out and invite me to join them. They ask me if I want a drink, and then another one, we're all laughing while I feel a female hand on my thigh. I start to feel the fire through my back, I look at the neighbor and he smiles at me again. We have an amazing foursome and I go back to my family smiling for a delicious breakfast.
I had been to the pub with some friends on Christmas eve and had drunk too much to drive home so I stayed at a friends house nearby. I woke up in the middle of the night desperately in need of some water so I went downstairs to get a drink. When I was there I bumped into my friend's big brother who I’d fancied since I was in school. I hadn’t seen him for years since he moved away and in the meantime I’d grown up and stopped being his little sister’s annoying friend!
We started chatting but before I knew it we were full on snogging in the kitchen. Things started to heat up, he lifted me up onto the kitchen counter and I had my legs wrapped around him until we heard someone moving around so we immediately put a stop to it and shuffled silently back to our separate beds. I got up early and went home in the morning and haven’t seen him since but it was a great way to start Christmas, even though we got cut short I still felt like I was in a Richard Curtis romcom!
It’s a cliche for a reason. Work Christmas party, guy i’ve been eyeing up all year over the water cooler (I told you it’s a cliche), grinding on the dance floor, quickie in the toilet, go back to his, walk of shame into the office wearing the same clothes in the morning.
– office hoe
Every year I go back to the village where I grew up and inevitably bump into my ex boyfriend (let’s call him James) at the local pub. We were together for 6 years during school but it ended amicably because I wanted to explore my sexuality so although we don’t really speak now we’re still on good terms. As predicted, last year I was at the pub with some friends when James came in. This year though he came with his new girlfriend. She is unbelievably hot and they looked so good together I couldn’t stop myself from staring at them.
Anyway, after a few too many mulled wines I finally plucked up the courage to go and chat to them both. As we were talking there was clearly sexual tension between me and James’ girlfriend. We were chatting and laughing, and there were a few lingering touches. After a while we all went out to smoke together and as we were chatting his girlfriend suddenly asked if I wanted to kiss James. Caught off guard, I said that to be honest I would prefer to kiss her and before I know it we’re kissing while my ex looks on. Then I kiss him, and she watches. After a few minutes of back and forth like this, we decide to go back to his house together and have maybe one of the best threesomes of my life together. I’m really hoping I bump into them again this year…
– the horny ex
The 26th of December is always reserved for sleeping in and dodging family members, so a post-Christmas Tinder hook up met the criteria for distraction. Grabbing pizza somewhere in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn with a pretty generic-looking white guy wasn’t necessarily my idea of adventure; but his height was a plus. So when we picked up a small margarita pie and walked to an incredibly bougie looking apartment building a few blocks away I was quizzical. In the elevator, I was expected him to press floor 5 or something like that, but he pushed the shiny PH button and I did my best to hide my shock. I definitely didn't notice "investment banker" or "tech startup CEO" in his bio. The elevator opened up to a spacious hallway with floor to ceiling windows and only two apartment doors. I followed him into the one on the right and basked in the most spacious apartment I've ever seen, decked with certainly the tallest Christmas tree I've ever laid eyes on (except for the Rockefeller, of course). We spent the rest of the night sharing edibles, listening to bedroom pop, and of course, trying not to break any expensive sculptures as we explored most of the countertops in the penthouse. As it turns out, polished marble feels pretty good on bare skin.