Lust Threesomes

Ménage à trois, threeway, trio, threesome, groupsex – whatever you want to call it, threesomes are consistently one of the most popular sexual fantasies I receive on XConfessions and it’s about time I address them for all those newbies out there. If you’re someone who has fantasised about tending to two when getting steamy beneath the sheets but aren’t sure how to get started, then sit back, relax and read on because this sex guide was made with you in mind.

And, to get you in the mood, I’m giving you 30% off all of the threesome movies on The Store by Erika Lust. Just enter the code THREESOME at checkout.

So, let’s get you prepared, trio pleasure seekers! It’s about time you learned the ins & outs of the fantasy you crave…

You may be thinking, “Where do I start?!” Let me just say, normal – totally normal. If you’re in a relationship, communicate first with your partner about your ménage à trois fantasy. If you’re nervous, watching a movie that includes a threesome scene (It Takes Three to Tango, for example 😉) can be a great ice breaker to jump start the convo.

Also, if you're in a couple and are want some more information before entering into a threesome with your partner, check out this article by Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, sex researcher, NYU professor of Human Sexuality and creator of the casualsexproject on What to Know Before You Enter a Threesome as a Couple. And, if you’re alone and looking for some threeway friendly friends, finding like minded people is a lot easier than you think. Dating apps are a great place to start (did somebody say unicorn?). Typically when a couple looks for a third party to join in they add this to their bio; so solo people, be on the lookout! 🦄

There are also a couple key things to keep in mind before getting started. First, make sure it’s something ALL parties involved want to do. For example, heterosexual men are not often into the idea of adding another man into the mix. So, if your fantasy is to be with two men but your partner will only do it with two women, then make sure it’s something YOU want before agreeing. Secondly, no matter the genders & sexualities in the mix, each person should have a sexual attraction to the other two parties. There’s nothing worse than someone feeling left out.

They go a little something like this… Consent, communication, erogenous zones, double the pleasure. Hopefully I don’t have to explain that consent is always key, but when it comes to three, things can get a little more tricky. Communicate what each other’s sexual do's and don't's are prior to getting physical. You’re dealing with a whole other body so it’s important that everyone knows where people’s fine lines are and what each person is hoping to get from the experience. Safe words aren’t limited to BDSM play, creating a safe word is a simple way to make sure everyone stays comfortable throughout this new sexploration.

Likewise, a lot of people fantasise about a threesome as a way to explore their sexuality, including the type of people they want to have sex with. Discovering new genitalia or erogenous zones that people you’ve previously been intimate with didn’t have can mean that beyond finding out new things you like, you might also uncover things you don’t. Using a safe word can make communication during the act feel less daunting. On the other hand, when there’s more people involved this means erogenous zones can be attended to at the same time. Think of all the reasons people aren’t that into 69; unsexy multitasking, body size; the effort is unbalanced. But with a trio, two people’s needs can be met at once.

Safety first, lusties! If there’s a penis involved keep lots of condoms on deck – this goes for oral and penetrative sex. If more that one person is being penetrated, condoms should be changed between each partner (and between each opening). You should also make sure each person washes their hands and mouths between partners when bodily fluids are involved. Some STIs can be transmitted by hands and fingers so it's important to keep your hands clean. It's also advisable to wear latex or non-latex gloves with lubrication for safer play, and to change the gloves between each partner. If there are vulvas present in your threeway, dental dams are also a good way to stay safe when multiple people are present.

If you like toys in your playtime then make sure you’re not using the same one on different people or between different orifices without cleaning it in between. Non-porous sex toys made from silicone, ABS plastic and metal, do not allow bodily fluids or water-based lubricants to seep into the toy and can usually be rinsed easily with water and a mild soap. However, toys made from porous material absorb fluids and create a moist hub for bacterial growth and fungus. Some examples of porous materials that can not be fully sterilized are TPE/TPR (Thermoplastic Elastomer/Rubber), cyberskin, jelly, rubber, PVC, and latex. If you're unsure of how to clean your toy, most brands provide guidelines on how to care for each product on their website.

Finally, be natural, be yourself! Find a way to set the mood and get comfortable before diving into bed. Whether that's going out and having a drink to get conversation flowing, enjoying some wine and bringing out the board games at home, or watching a movie for some basic under-the-blanket-over-the-clothes foreplay – find what works for you.

So, if you're ready to make your threesome dreams a reality & get some inspiration from some erotic movies enjoy 30% OFF all of the threesome movies on The Store by Erika Lust by entering the code THREESOME at checkout.