BDSM Resource Roundup for Beginners, Players & Experts

Each year, 24 July marks International BDSM Day. The day was created by a BDSM club in my own city, Barcelona, and was made on the 24th day of the 7th month as a nod to those practicing 24/7 BDSM relationships. BDSM is an acronym for sex that falls into one of the categories of bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism. It is a wide and encompassing term that looks very different for different people. Sometimes it looks like a sub/dom relationship and other times it doesn’t involve sex at all. To be involved with BDSM you don’t need to enjoy or practice every part of the acronym, it also doesn’t need to be your lifestyle - but if you’ve been interested in BDSM for a while or even if it doesn't interest you but you consider yourself sex positive, then it’s a good idea to celebrate and spread awareness on this day.

Why is BDSM day important?

It’s important to recognise and celebrate BDSM as it’s still widely misunderstood and the people who practice it are heavily stigmatised and subject to discrimination. In the USA, up until 2013 BDSM practices were included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental and Physical Disorders, which meant that if you practiced BDSM you could be considered mentally ill. This had huge repercussions and serious consequences for kinky people and their sexual interests could be used against you in family court resulting in parents being deemed unfit to look after their children. When the new manual was released in 2013 consenting adults were no longer deemed mentally ill for practicing BDSM but we still have a long way to go until it is completely socially acceptable to be involved in the kink and fetish scene.

How can I celebrate BDSM Day?

I’ve put together this guide for you so that whether you’re new to the world of BDSM or you’re a more seasoned pro, there is something for you to read, watch or practice today. Even if you don’t have an interest in BDSM yourself, please support those who do by educating yourself and others about it.

If you’ve always been interested in BDSM but you have no idea where to start then I recommend starting with a bit of reading.

Are You Ready to Submit? A Beginners Introduction to BDSM — Check out this beginners guide to BDSM, from what it means and an explainer of the vocabulary, to some top tips on how you might get started in this very pleasurable world.

Ask Lust: How Do I Introduce BDSM Into My Relationship? — If you're in a relationships and you want to broach the topic of introducing BDSM to your partner, then read this article from the Ask Lust advice column which will give you some tips on having the conversation, plus what to do if your partner is or isn't interested.

If you're single or you just want to experiment with BDSM by yourself before bringing a partner into the mix, then these are the articles for you. Do a little bit of solo play and experimentation and find out what tickles your pickle!

How to Make Your Masturbation Kinky — From puppetry and orgasm control to dominating yourself, sex educator Lola Jean has all of the kinky ideas for your next self love session.

It’s Gettin’ Hot in Here: An Introduction to Wax Play — Inspired by my Lust Cinema Original series Safe Word, this is a sexy guide to wax play, or temperature play, which involves dripping, pouring or brushing hot candle wax onto your body. It’s an accessible kink that can be used to explore pain and pleasure with minimal cost and preparation.

Watch My BDSM Adult Series, Safe Word, for Free! - Get inspired by watching some BDSM porn, watch and learn from the experts.

If you’re trying this out with your partner and you’re both beginners, it’s best to leave out accessories, toys and equipment for your first few times and just focus on each other. With these resources you don’t need anything apart from yourself and your partner.

Explicit Video Guide: BDSM on a Budget at Home with Ron Hades: The Lust Ed x Sex School — watch this free, explicit video guide with Sensual Master and Bondage Meditation Instructor, Ron Hades. There’s no need for expensive tools, if you’ve got shoelaces, towels, plants, ice cubes or candles at your disposal then you’re ready to go.

Have You Been Bad? The Lust Guide to Erotic Spanking — Spanking is a great way to add variety to foreplay and explore new sensations even if you’re not someone who usually enjoys pain play. It's not for everyone, but it’s definitely worth a try.

What is Edging? The Lust Guide to Orgasm Control — Some people like to use edging as a control method and it is often used as part of power play in BDSM. As it doesn’t involve any pain or accessories, it can be a really great place for beginners to start exploring power exchanges in the bedroom.

Brat BDSM: Everything You Want to Know About Brats — Think you or your partner might be a brat? Read this piece by Lola Jean to understand more about brat BDSM, what it means and how to practice it.

Humiliation Kink: Wildly Underrated & Liberating — Humiliation play or humiliation kink, is essentially some form of humiliation in the BDSM context or in a power exchange. It is also classified as a type of psychological play and a form of sexual masochism. Some people would even consider it edge play because it can bring a sub close to a physical or emotional limit.

If you’re ready to take it to the next step and buy some toys and accessories, you can start working your way down this list with things that are fun to experiment with but not too intimidating to do.

Video Guide: An Explicit Lesson on Saran Wrap Bondage with Tyomi Morgan, Jetsetting Jasmine and King Noire — Have you ever caught sight of some cling film and thought, “hey, that could make a great bedroom addition”? No…? Well, prepare to open your eyes to the eroticism of saran wrap bondage in this explicit video guide and demonstration.

Diaper Fetish: Everything You Wanna Know About The Big Taboo — Everything you need to know about the diaper festish. There are those who are just diaper lovers and then there are those who consider themselves adult babies and participate in age regression play as humiliation.

Watersports & P*ss Play…. Why Though? — Read why porn performer Bishop Black thinks you should be partaking in a little bit of piss play.

A Guide to Safe and Responsible Choking — Are you interested in choking during sex? Perhaps you’ve tried choking in the past or you’ve been asked to choke someone else. This guide will give you some tips on how to use choking during sex responsibly and safely, and focuses on partnered choking and not solo auto-asphyxiation.

Video Guide: Safe Fisting for All Genders with Dion de Rossi — In this 15 minute explicit video Dion de Rossi will introduce the concept of fisting, who it’s for, why it’s so pleasurable and exactly how to do it safely. Fisting can be performed by any combination of people regardless of gender or genitals, so if you have an anus or vagina it’s very possible for you to enjoy the pleasures of this fisting tutorial!

Calling all Rubberists: Why Eva Oh has a Fetish for Latex — International Dominatrix Eva Oh is here to tell us all about her love for latex.

A Beginners Guide to Pegging with a Strap On — Pegging is getting pretty popular at the moment but although it’s tempting to just grab a harness & go for it, it’s not always as easy and smooth sailing as what is shown on the television. So read this guide for a few tips on how to have your best first experience.

How To Use Nipple Clamps: A Beginners Guide — If you already know that you enjoy some nipple play such as sucking, biting, or tugging, then nipple clamps might be the next thing to add to your sexy repertoire. They’re often overlooked when it comes to sex toys, but they can be a great addition to your bedside table.

If you consider yourself a BDSM aficionado, then check out these resources.

Explicit Video Guide: Fetish Coaching with Tyomi Morgan, JetSetting Jasmine and King Noire — In this Lust Ed video series, learn more about having a sub/dom relationship and watch teachings on how to do impact play, the psychological and physical reactions to pain, how to check in with your sub, the use of safe words, and aftercare.

Why Eva Oh Loves Financial Domination aka Findom — Do you want to take control of someone's finances, or give total control to someone else? This is the kink where a submissive gives gifts and money to a dominant, often seemingly in return for nothing more than the sexual kick in and of itself.

Video Guide: BDSM Therapy & Impact Play with Mistress Velvet — In this episode of The Lust Ed Video Series, Mistress Velvet talks about her work as a dominatrix and introduces the audience to various types of impact play. Tune in and learn about spanking, safe words, aftercare and much more.

If you've done enough practicing and you want to listen to the experts or learn more about the theory behind BDSM then read these guest pieces from some of our favourite BDSM players.

An honest insight into Tyomi Morgan’s journey as a Black woman exploring BDSM — The Art of Dominance is an honest insight into Sexpert Tyomi Morgan’s personal journey as a black woman exploring BDSM. Tyomi talks about her first experiences with sex work and how she managed to overcome her apprehensions about kink through training as a professional domme.

Owen Gray on Domination, Submission and Feminism — Say hello to Owen Gray! Owen is a man of substance and his exploration of BDSM both on the sub and Dom sides is fascinating, so if you want to know more, read this interview.

Fetish & Submission from a Black Person’s Perspective — Bishop Black gives us a first-hand look into his experience of being submissive and Black.

So, which resources are you working your way through? Happy International BDSM Day!